Stepping back...

[greygirlbeast]

Last night is the first night since at least December 2007 that I've managed to sleep without Ambien. I've been cutting the dosage back for weeks now, and last night, I just said fuck it, and didn't take any. And I slept.

We take our victories where we can find them, no matter how small.

There was no writing again yesterday, so I think I can officially say that I am now in a crisis state. We'll say Code Yellow. Tomorrow, if I've still not written, we go to Orange.

I did read Holly Phillips' "Cold Water Survival" in Lovecraft Unbound, and I liked it quite a lot. It's very rare for me to actually read an anthology in which I have a story, but I'm reading this one. At least for now.

In the midst of all the Not Writing that was going on yesterday, I also resolved to begin withdrawing from Facebook and Twitter, and stop using them as anything but a mirror for this journal by the end of October. Well, truthfully, I made my last post to Facebook yesterday evening, after being prodded with one pointy stick too many, and discovering I couldn't turn off comments. That is, discovering I could not disallow comments. As I said yesterday, what kind of fucked-up forced-socialization fascism is that? So, no more Facebook (except that the LJ entries will continue to show up there). I think the thing I will most miss about it is the fact that people seemed almost always to use their real names. I won't miss having people I've not spoken to in ten or fifteen or twenty years suddenly thrusting themselves back into my life uninvited. So, yes, I'll try to stick with Twitter until the end of the month. But a lot of things are wrong in my life at the moment, and one of them is having allowed myself to wander off into all this "social networking" brouhaha. I do not think in sound bytes of 140 characters (or whatever Facebook allows, for that matter). I don't write in them. It was a mistake for me to try and force it.

Of course, this leaves me here in the wasteland of LiveJournal, which seems to be losing writers and readers like a sinking ship purportedly loses rats. But, at least I can finish a thought here without being told I'm over my character limit. And if I don't want to interact, or hear someone else's thoughts, it's easy enough to turn off comments.

If you've not yet, please take a moment to order a copy of The Red Tree. It's the reason I'm still bothering to communicate with the public at all. Which means, if you're reading this, you probably would benefit by reading that.

A cloudy day here in Providence. The sun's never around when I actually want to see it.

Comments

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Last night is the first night since at least December 2007 that I've managed to sleep without Ambien. I've been cutting the dosage back for weeks now, and last night, I just said fuck it, and didn't take any. And I slept.

We take our victories where we can find them, no matter how small.

This, I grok. (I'm glad to read this.) My bare experience with drugs mainly had to do with sleeping pills, five years ago, and it turned out not to be a solution for me. I've dealt with sleep issues on and off since then, including now (hello stress! Long story), so I understand enough.

May the sun reach you soon.

P.S. Making sure you see this: a wonderful interview with Terry Gilliam (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/starsandstories/6280878/Terry-Gilliam-interview-for-The-Imaginarium-of-Doctor-Parnassus.html).

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

P.S. Making sure you see this: a wonderful interview with Terry Gilliam.

Thank you. A fine link, indeed.

[sovay]

've been cutting the dosage back for weeks now, and last night, I just said fuck it, and didn't take any. And I slept.

I am very glad.

You never have to apologize for not talking to people.

I hope the sun's come out.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I hope the sun's come out.

It's odd how many people seem to think I loathe the sun...

[mckenzie34.livejournal.com]

>>I do not think in sound bytes of 140 characters (or whatever Facebook allows, for that matter). I don't write in them.<<

Bless you. Nor do I read in them, nor can I understand a quality
idea in them. I hate that everything is being reduced to grunts.
Full circle, I reckon.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I hate that everything is being reduced to grunts.

Well said.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

"GRUNT"

"135 characters remaining"

It had BETTER not get to the point where the programs are wordier than us...

[phialastring.livejournal.com]

Not that you know me from a random assortment of electrons, but I read your LJ and appreciate it. I follow you on twitter too, but LJ is more interesting. I enjoy the challenge of fitting something vaguely interesting into 140 characters, but it's certainly not a universal entertainment.

I have a copy of The Red Tree waiting on my shelf for when I have time to appreciate it properly.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I enjoy the challenge of fitting something vaguely interesting into 140 characters, but it's certainly not a universal entertainment.

I've never been much of a reductionist.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

First, congratulations on sleeping, without the Ambien.

Second, I've been making an active attempt to write more, on LiveJournal, whatever way I can. Thoughts on the day, processing the things I have to write, fiction, whatever. It's... slowly working. Very slowly. Sometimes.

I would like to extend the life and potential of this place, as much as I can, but I don't know what can be done there.

Better luck writing, today.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Thoughts on the day, processing the things I have to write, fiction, whatever. It's... slowly working.

One of the traps writers have to avoid is spending more time writing about writing than actually writing.

[v1ewfr0mbugtown.livejournal.com]

I read your LJ every day. I learn from your struggles and your writing process. I empathize with your migraines (as I suffer the beastly things as well.) I have refused to be Twitter-ized and am disappointed with FB as everyone seems to do nothing but waste time sending “rainbow hugs” and joining Snickers fan clubs (why would anyone consider joining a fan club for food?) I will continue reading this journal as long as you post though I may seldom respond. Oh! And by the way…

I think the thing I will most miss about it is the fact that people seemed almost always to use their real names.

Hi. I'm Amy

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

and am disappointed with FB as everyone seems to do nothing but waste time sending “rainbow hugs” and joining Snickers fan clubs (why would anyone consider joining a fan club for food?)

Yeah...at the moment, I have 209 requests of one sort or another at Facebook that I've never even bothered to look at. What I don't get are the "games."

Hi. I'm Amy

Hello, Amy.

[stellamaris.livejournal.com]

Hello,

You don't know me from Eve and I just found your LJ the other day through random googling...just wanted to let you know that I'm reading and just the other day I purchased a new copy of The Red Tree.

I am a migraine-suffering insomniac as well, and have enjoyed reading your musings on the creative process.

Also, I don't blame you for retreating from FB or Twitter...I've never been a fan of either. I don't much like people from my distant past or estranged family members suddenly popping up through those channels, or the constant pokes and friend requests from people I don't even know.

Jessica

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

just the other day I purchased a new copy of The Red Tree.

And for that, I thank you.

[spiritualmonkey.livejournal.com]

I don't book my face. (http://spiritualmonkey.livejournal.com/502447.html)

I don't tweet (http://spiritualmonkey.livejournal.com/519479.html).

I do have a Metafilter account (http://www.metafilter.com/user/97880) because MeFi is high signal/low noise.

Permanent LJ account. Long winded or die!

Glad to hear you slept well. Rock on (quietly).

(Nick Baban)

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Long winded or die!

I may have that tattooed between my breasts.

[possumqueen.livejournal.com]

Of course, this leaves me here in the wasteland of LiveJournal, which seems to be losing writers and readers like a sinking ship purportedly loses rats.

Oh, dear me! I was not aware that LJ was in difficulty. This is still a favorite blogging location for a lot of writers that I know of. Blogspot would be another. Not sure what kind of traffic it gets.

From what little I know, LiveJournal is the biggest social networking system in Russia, and the Russian and American branches of LJ are run by the same people. If they are in financial trouble, I haven't heard anything of it.

You could not force me to use Twitter at gunpoint. ;)
I only joined FaceBook recently and reluctantly -- from what little I've experienced there, it's not as flexible for writing and graphic design as LiveJournal is. LJ allows a lot more personal creativity in its software. If you know how to use HTML, you can make LiveJournal do almost anything. MySpace and FaceBook seem to be locked into one basic look that's difficult to change and play with.

However, most people who want to use social networking sites are not artists or writers or graphic designers, so the easy set-up works fine for them, I suppose. They want hot dates and idle chit-chat. That's what those places were made for. ;)

At the advice of a friend, I went into FaceBook only with my married name, so no creepy annoying people from my misspent youth have been able to find me yet. Only writers and close friends... who are for the most part the same people.

You and I know a lot of the same ladies and gentlemen. Please excuse my brassy familiarity on that basis. (And no, I have not published anything, but maybe someday. Blathering in LiveJournal was my way to take Peter Straub's advice and "Write all the crap out of your system." Best advice EVER for beginners. Start writing and don't stop until you don't suck. *winks* By the way, it wasn't personal advice to me; he said it on a panel at NeCon.)

-Alyson Benoit-

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear me! I was not aware that LJ was in difficulty. This is still a favorite blogging location for a lot of writers that I know of. Blogspot would be another. Not sure what kind of traffic it gets.

From what little I know, LiveJournal is the biggest social networking system in Russia, and the Russian and American branches of LJ are run by the same people. If they are in financial trouble, I haven't heard anything of it.

LJ is, indeed, in trouble. The last couple of years, its traffic flow has plummeted, likely as a direct result of the rising popularity of other forms of online communication. LJ has been described recently as being on "life support," and hence I am backing everything up to Dreamwidth.


However, most people who want to use social networking sites are not artists or writers or graphic designers, so the easy set-up works fine for them, I suppose. They want hot dates and idle chit-chat. That's what those places were made for.

I think this is largely true, yes.

[seismickitten.livejournal.com]

I follow your LJ assiduously, but come out of the woodwork rarely. In fact, and I'm sure you'll be glad to know, it was after stumbling across your journal and becoming intrigued by your entries that I bought The Red Tree. And then told everyone about it.

In terms of Facebook, I left a year ago for the same reasons, largely. I was tired of having my teenage years -- almost like an old life, now over and complete -- thrust in my face again at every click of the mouse. Besides, I felt wary about having people I went to school with spying on my personal life. My life now is my own business and I intend to keep it that way. Except for the occasional emotional vomit on LJ. It has to happen from time to time.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I think, for me, it's as much the inability to control "comments" and whether or not people post to "my wall" as the unwelcome past.

[k-t-r.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth I will never stop reading your journal, all the time you're keeping it. I may not comment very often, or have much of consequence to say when I do, but I'm always interested in your thoughts and observations.

Without meaning to seem too fannish or schmaltzy, you are an inspiration to me. If you can manage to keep on writing through all the bad that gets thrown your way, then I sure as hell can keep on trying to not give in and get up each day and live. It may sound a little pathetic, but you've made a difference to me, with your books and your journal. Thank you.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Without meaning to seem too fannish or schmaltzy, you are an inspiration to me. If you can manage to keep on writing through all the bad that gets thrown your way, then I sure as hell can keep on trying to not give in and get up each day and live. It may sound a little pathetic, but you've made a difference to me, with your books and your journal. Thank you.

You know...though it may come as a surprise, I'm having the same problems these days. Only I have no source of inspiration to help me through.

[catconley.livejournal.com]

I read your LJ a lot as well but I rarely comment. Shy, I guess. I did enjoy meeting you at Friendly Neighborhood Comics though!

I haven't tried Twitter and I don't think that I will. Facebook I rarely use. I am probably going to delete the account because I just get thousands of "So and so has thrown a sheep at you" type comments.

I picked up a copy of Lovecraft Unbound and really enjoyed your story. I read the first story in the book last night, "The Crevasse" I think it was called, and enjoyed it as well. I'm looking forward to the rest of the anthology.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

because I just get thousands of "So and so has thrown a sheep at you" type comments.

Gods, how I hate that shit.

I did enjoy meeting you at Friendly Neighborhood Comics though!

It was mutual.

I picked up a copy of Lovecraft Unbound and really enjoyed your story. I read the first story in the book last night, "The Crevasse" I think it was called, and enjoyed it as well. I'm looking forward to the rest of the anthology.

Yep. That's the first story. I'm enjoying the book so far. Glad you snagged a copy.

[grinkat.livejournal.com]

I had a Facebook account for a while. The onslaught of all the people I hadn't thought about in years caught me a bit off-guard, and reminded me that, yes, there was a reason why I hadn't thought about these people in so long...I had no desire to. So, account canceled. And that, as they say, was that.
I have no intention of joining Twitter, either. There's far too much emphasis on the reductionist "soundbite". I like a little meat with my bones, thank you.
I've been reading your journal for quite some time. I've commented a few times, bought some eBay stuff when I could, subscribed to Sirenia Digest, and turned a number of people on to your writing. Without fail, I find your works and your words do something very important...they make me think. In today's world, "thinking" seems to be becoming a lost art. Thank you for keeping it alive and well.
By the way, Hello, Caitlin. My name's Dwayne.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I like a little meat with my bones, thank you.

Hell, I like a little fat with my meat...

I've been reading your journal for quite some time. I've commented a few times, bought some eBay stuff when I could, subscribed to Sirenia Digest, and turned a number of people on to your writing.

Then you are a cool person. Thank you.

By the way, Hello, Caitlin. My name's Dwayne.

What have I started?

[mithriltabby]

Yay sleep!

[mb2u]

I don't think LJ will die (says the person with a permanent account) but I think it has become less attractive to the short attention span types. Facebook and Twitter do not require a lot of thought; just be obsessive.

And it's important to note that LJ has always been a bit of a niche, rarely the "next big thing." That's an advantage to me.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I don't think LJ will die (says the person with a permanent account) but I think it has become less attractive to the short attention span types.

Yeah, I'm in the same boat, permanent accountwise.

I am a bit...amazed...at people who seem offended that they might have to read more than 140 characters at a time.

[jacobluest.livejournal.com]

What amazes me about all this is that despite the shrinking space for language, its economy has simultaneously inflated to gross proportions.

~Jacob

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

What amazes me about all this is that despite the shrinking space for language, its economy has simultaneously inflated to gross proportions.

I'm not precisely sure I understand what you mean. Maybe, that's because I'm drunk and ought to go to bed.

[spank-an-elf.livejournal.com]

This was the first time one of your posts pissed me off. Yeah, spending time commenting on the stupid social networking sites is stupid.

I can fall into the same trap then it's like why the fuck am I wasting time in the badlands?

It's 3:00AM after too much wine so I wish better luck for you later in the day.

Come noon I am going to photograph an old cemetery.

Yep.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

This was the first time one of your posts pissed me off.

It was inevitable.