Cephalopodmas Carols!

[greygirlbeast]

So, if like me, you're being driven slowly insane by the canned Xmas music which bombards our senses from all directions, boring its way inside of brains, infecting us with good cheer and the urge to spend, there's a cure. Why go slowly insane, when you can cut to the chase, unleash Cthulhu, and go quickly insane! The kind folks at the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society, makers of that marvelous "silent" film version of The Call of Cthulhu, are now offering two CDs of carols perfectly suited to those of us who have chosen to embrace our inner cephalopod — A Very Scary Solstice and An Ever Scarier Solstice. You can even download sample songs for free. Well, one whole sample song, anyway (lyrics below).

I'll have a blue Solstice, Cthulhu.
I'll be so blue thinking what you'll do.
Sacrifices of red on the blue open sea,
Won't mean a thing until you're here with me.

Until your blue nightmares awake me,
And all my blue angels forsake me,
You'll be down in your tomb, in cyclopean gloom,
And I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Solstice.

(spoken) Oh Cthulhu, baby, c'mon up out of that tomb. I can't stop thinking about your huge flabby claws, them little wings of yours, that grotesque scaly body, and them big ol' tentacles wrapped around me. Oh darlin', I can't go on without you.

You'll be down in your tomb in cyclopean gloom,
And I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue, Solstice.

(Really. It's only November 28th, okay, and already the frelling Xmas carols have me thinking extremely antisocial thoughts...)

Comments

[sfmarty.livejournal.com]

I haven't heard any carols yet. I stay the hell away from where they might be.

[smu.livejournal.com]

Carols are driving me crazy too. I work in a bookstore in a mall, so they JUST play carols now. But I got that album a few weeks ago from a friend and could not stop humming the words over the real carols at work. Christmas just isn't Christmas without the elder gods!

[shadowmeursault.livejournal.com]

i returned to work on Black Friday to a personal email from the owner regarding the necessity that we play xmas carols from that day until Jan. 1. i had erroneously believed that i would be spared, given that the coffee/bagel shop i work in is independently owned, but no.
it only took 2 days before the Jackson Five singing, "i saw mommy kissing santa claus" made me want to kill. i'm currently operating on a "lie by ommission" way around the edict, which in this case would be silence. it's not NOT xmas music. it just isn't any music at all. i patiently await my inevitable ass-chewing for doing this.
though the owner called herself open to "more contemporary" xmas tunes, she's already nixed The Vandals xmas album, but, oh.... is this tempting....

[cause-catyljan.livejournal.com]

I found that strangely moving. What does that say about me as a person? Maybe I'm not a person at all, I've always loved the water and feel the call of the sea. R'lyeh here I come...

[opalblack.livejournal.com]

I might write catty letters of complaint to major chain retailers and the city council detailing the offences of cultural and religious imperialism caused to my person by their christmessing the whole city up and inescapably imposing their favoured seasonal religious celebration on the population of what is supposed to be a secular nation.

It might sound less fun without sleep deprivation to motivate me.

[elfgirl.livejournal.com]

We own both of those (although, sadly, we bought them before they offered them in a giant tentacle stocking). It's always enjoyable to intersperse them amongst "normal" xmas songs and then wait and see if anyone notices.