Caitlín R. Kiernan

This afternoon, I'm missing Alabama.

Here, it's vaguely, unenthusiastically sunny. That sky could at least have the decency to snow. Then again, for Providence, we've hardly had a winter. Right now, it's 43˚F. Hey, winter! Shit or get off the goddamn pot, already.

Yesterday, I wrote 1,157 words on a new pseudo-vignette, "Camuffare." It's quiet, and easy, and strange. It's not at all what I expected to be writing this month, but maybe it's what I need to be writing – assuming I need to be writing anything at all. Let us make no a priori assumptions. But, so far, I like "Camuffare."

Yesterday, opalblack asked, Will it benefit you, in terms of your standing with the publisher re sales etc. more if I preorder The Drowning Girl, or if I walk into a shop and buy it within the first week of release? Truthfully? I don't think anyone knows. Publishers are insane about preorders. Publishers are equally insane about the first six weeks of a book's release. It pretty much comes down to that. Unless a book blows the whole world away via preorders or those first six weeks of sales, screw it. It never happened. What's next? Yes, it genuinely is like that. So, to answer your question, I'd say preorder, if only because that's more convenient to you.

Speaking of preorders, it's very important that Confessions of a Five-Chambered Heart does very, very well. So, please. If you can preorder, do. And thank you. And don't forget what Emerson said. "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." Anyway, here's the cover (by Lee Moyer), in case you've never followed one of the hundred or so links I've posted (them blue ladies with horns, they gets me every darned time):



It occurs to me that the only drawback to murder is the inevitable post-homicide emotional crash. Oh, and my thanks to everyone who followed the link to Amazon's page for The Drowning Girl and took a second to click like. All 88 of you. If nothing else, I know that 88 people read yesterday's entry. Of course, if you didn't click yesterday, you can always click today.

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Last night, I swore I wouldn't play SW:toR. The GLBT-friendly RP guild we joined has finally started going to shit. But, you know, two weeks of decent RP before everything begins to come apart in nonsense and drivel is ahead of the curve, right? Anyway...at least it's not my guild. And, anyway, don't grownups do grownup shit? I always imagined it would be that way. I'd grow up, and there'd be 9-5, martinis, bills, vacations, a two-car garage, wild orgies, lawn flamingos, funerals, dinner parties, and 2.5 children. Well, okay, I got the bills, but the rest of it? Nowhere to be seen.

So, instead of playing with all the other grownup children, we streamed movies on the iPad (in 1975, when I was eleven, that sentence would have been science fiction). First, Elliott Lester's very so-so Blitz (2011). Not a great film, but not a bad film, and, what the hell, I'd pay to watch Jason Statham eat a sandwich (I have the same problem with Bruce Willis).

But then...then we came across this film I'd never heard of, even though I should have heard of it. Bless the Child, directed by Chuck Russell (2000). I looked at the cast – Kim Basinger, Jimmy Smits (okay, not too interesting so far, but wait for it), Rufus Sewell (see, now we're getting somewhere), Angela fucking Bettis, Christina Ricci, and Ian Holm. And...what a total piece of shit! It might have scraped lows in Xtian horror that few Xtian horror films had previously scraped. The screenplay didn't even manage to be hilariously bad. It was just bad; no ambition. The cinematography had all the artistry of something made for Lifetime. There were some CGI demons that probably would have been interesting to see twelve years ago. There were lots of Evil Goths® and plot holes and pot holes and scary Catholic histrionics and Rufus Sewell trying really, really hard to sound villainous, but you can tell the poor guy's thinking, Yup. This is the end of my career. It's all downhill from here. Oh, wait. Christina Ricci's head falls off. That was pretty cool. And, frankly, the actor who played the Jesus-in-a-dress kid, Holliston Coleman, she carried the whole film on her tiny shoulders, and got all the best lines, and was the cutest little saviour of humanity ever. Gagh. Guys, you have to see this film. It's so bad – in a harmless, stupid, slobbering dog sort of way – you have to see it. Only 3% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes! 3%! I still don't know how I missed it in theatres.

Oh, and then we played SW:toR, anyway.

And then I finished Chris McGowan's The Dragon Seekers. And that was yesterday.

Perpetually Adolescent,
Aunt Beast

In the near distance, audible even through these thick plaster walls, some goddamn idiot is wailing "gospel" at the upper limits of human vocalization, and, near as I can conjure, the sound is being greatly amplified by some infernal electronical device. Ugh. It's Sunday morning. Must I have Xtianity foisted upon me even on Sunday morning? In the form of sound pollution? I assure you, this is not what Mr. Tesla had in mind. It's been going on for the better part of an hour. Fortunately, I have driven my ear buds in deep and turned the volume up loudly enough that no trace of the caterwauling is getting through. Better deaf than annoyed, I say. Deaf women do not have to hear wailing Xtians on Sunday morning. You don't get this sort of racket from the Hare Krishnas and Buddhists.

The last three days have been sort of a mess, and I thought it best just to stay clear of LJ until the clouds had moved along. Well, actually yesterday was okay. It was Thursday and Friday that deserve most of the blame. Especially Friday. Friday was the very first day to earn an L in my day planner since May 18th. The worst of it has been the insomnia, and the bad dreams, but at least the former finally seems to be releasing me. I got eight hours sleep last night, and seven the night before. I'm weaning myself off the zolpidem tartrate.

Yesterday, I wrote 1,413 words on The Dinosaurs of Mars, making it my most prolific day thus far on this book (which I still hope to finish by the end of July). The story keeps surprising me, and that's one of the only reasons I write, for the surprises, the tales I can only hear if I tell them. In this respect, it's going well.

In two or three days, though, I'll need to set TDoM aside and write a couple of pieces for Sirenia Digest #20. I have at least one good vignette taking shape inside my head; I'm sure a second will make itself known to me almost anytime now.

But I am having to face up to an inconvenient and annoying truth — I have allowed myself to become overextended. There is far too much on my plate. And virtually nothing that I can take off. Not if I wish to keep the bills paid. Not if I wish to make use of the opportunities presented to me. The best solution I have been able to arrive at is that I will take on no new projects — not even a short-story commission — until at least October. As Neil says, the power of No. A considerable portion of the insomnia has resulted from my incessant worrying about how I'm to actually meet all these deadlines and do so having written stories that I'm happy with. It is not enough to write prolifically. I must write well prolifically. I must not begin to compromise quality for quantity.

And I must get more exercise.

Take a good multi-vitamin and detox regularly.

Eat better, spend less time online, read more, hug the cat, leave the house at least once a day.

It's all very simple, really.

One day this week, and I suspect early this week, I will have an announcement which I will be pleased to make. As soon as all the t's are crossed and all the i's dotted. Even though it means more work. But there you go. I am a slave to my goddamned aspirations. And my intentions, both good and bad. Anyway, the platypus says the next bus for Mars leaves in fifteen minutes, and if I'm not on it, my ass is in for that fabled "world of hurt," so I suppose I should wrap this up. Later, kiddos.