"The lengths that I will go to. The distance in your eyes."

[greygirlbeast]

Here in Rhode Island, we're having a marvelous April.

So, I have long been an admirer of the awesomeness of coilhouse, but, of late, they've been dropping these "(trigger warning!)" PSAs into lots of their posts. What the fuck, guys? To start with, this is fucking Coilhouse, home of the weird, brash, and bold. And secondly, when the hell did sudden, unexpected emotional responses that resonate deeply because of traumatic personal experiences become a Bad Thing that one should be warned against? And – no shit – I say this as someone who's struggled with severe PTSD since before it was a goddamn acronym and who's still medicated for it. And yet, here I am, the personification of TRIGGERING, the very idea of TRIGGERING MADE FLESH. Has the concept of catharsis passed from the world? I can't help but suspect that coilhouse has bowed to the pressure of the Whiners. Butch up, people. There is no fucking shelter from the storm. Worse still, the storm has only just begun.

I will not be a member of the congregation of the Church of Protect Me From That Which Might Make Me Cry.

Yeah, another grumpy day.

But I have to get over it, because tomorrow is Spooky's birthday, and I think I'm going to be in Boston on Saturday evening...so...maybe the Good Fairies of Sunshine and Pink-Pony Cupcake Sprinkles will show up and pull some cheer forth from my ass in time to save the day.

---

Yesterday was spent editing Confessions of a Five-Chambered Heart, answering email, sending email, waiting on email, and not much else. Today, I begin a vignette for Sirenia Digest #67. It's all in my head.

My thanks to oldfossil59 for making sure I got a copy of Publisher's Weekly 258/24, in which Two Worlds and In Between not only received a starred review, but appeared on the Table of Contents page as their "pick of the week." It really is amazing, holding that in my hands, seeing the final version of Lee Moyer's cover in color. So, thank you, oldfossil59.

So few people would ever guess that "Houses Under the Sea" was inspired by R.E.M.'s song "Belong." And that just goes to show you how useful expectations can be. "Oh, that story was inspired by Lovecraft!" Well, actually...

---

Okay, here's another one to help me purge the angrification gremlins. If you're running a writer's conference at a well-respected liberal-arts college some 70 miles from my home (and that's as the crow flies, so it probably more like 125 miles), because you want me on ONE panel, then you're going to have to offer me a hell of a lot more than lunch and breakfast. Like an honorarium, and travel expenses, and a hotel room. Offer me those, and I might think about it. Maybe. It's nice to be asked, yes, but it's rude to put someone (a freelancer, at that) in the position of having to say no to what only seems like an honor, in a world where gas is edging towards four dollars a gallon. And ys, I appreciate the conference doesn't have a lot of money, but that's not my problem.

Hold on...be back in a second. Spooky is channeling her inner australopithicine. No, really. Monkey noises.

---

Round 3 of the Big Damn eBay Auction has begun. Right here. Please bid if you are able and interested! Thankses, Precious.

---

Last night, we made up for the lousy Hal Hartley film by watching Terrence Malick's impressive debut feature, Badlands (1973). Somehow, I'd never seen it before. Then there was Rift, and the blowback from the Big Patch, 1.3, which has loads of cool shit, but they messed up guild vaults, so we still don't have one, and all the talent trees were reset. Still, we managed a very good rp scene in the Spire of Orphiel. Later, Spooky read aloud from Junky, and then I read back over "The Maltese Unicorn," in Supernatural Noir. I really am exceptionally happy with this story, and thankful I was given a chance to write it. Now, I proceed to the other tales in the book!

Oh....here's something interesting at NPR: The End Of Gender?.

Ambiguously,
Aunt Beast

Comments

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I love the recursion on that cover.

But, then, I just love recursion.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

We'd wanted a greater degree of recursion, and there is more in the final version (seen BIG). But still not as much as we'd wanted.

[ladyblue56.livejournal.com]

The cover of Supernatural Noir? Is it the eye in the raven's beak that is the recursion? I have exophoria and small details often escape me. The cover is so cool just from how the eyes of the raven and the woman are used together.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

The cover of Two Worlds and In Between

[waristerrorism.livejournal.com]

I know someone who -triggers me -but- -is good at recursion problems.

Happy Birthday and cupcakes and sparkles and rainbow fairy dust.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I know someone who -triggers me -but- -is good at recursion problems.

What more could anyone ask?

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

'you're going to have to offer me a hell of a lot more than lunch and breakfast. Like an honorarium, and travel expenses, and a hotel room'

What, no highly sexed Siamese twins with their eyes sewed shut? You need to update your rider.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

What, no highly sexed Siamese twins with their eyes sewed shut?

I do hate how you've "got my number."

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

I read the manual.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Damn manual. By now, it's probably online somewhere.

[r-darkstorm.livejournal.com]

As to "The End of Gender" Heinlein mentioned similar ideas in "I Will Fear No Evil" which was published, what, at least 40 years ago now? Though I personally always felt he was something of a prophet...

As to "oversexed Siamese twins with their eyes sewn shut"... Well, who WOULDN'T want that?

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

As to "The End of Gender" Heinlein mentioned similar ideas in "I Will Fear No Evil" which was published, what, at least 40 years ago now?

These are old, old and recurrent ideas. I wish for it. It will not, I think, occur in my lifetime. Perhaps centuries from now, if humans can shake off biological and religious imperatives, and if the species survives so long.


As to "oversexed Siamese twins with their eyes sewn shut"... Well, who WOULDN'T want that?

Indeed!

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Small world- I saw Badlands last night, too. (That was Malick as the guy who shows up at the rich man's house carrying architectural blueprints, by the way.)

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

(That was Malick as the guy who shows up at the rich man's house carrying architectural blueprints, by the way.)

Damn! I had no idea.

PSA

[mattbean.livejournal.com]

Obviously this means something else in America.

Prostate Specific Antigens?

I'm lost here.

Re: PSA

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Obviously this means something else in America.

Public service announcement.

[ashlyme.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the link. At thirty-eight (bi cis-male, never liked this body much, but alway s convinced of mental androgyny) I'm still trying to find a gender.

- Ash

[docbrite.livejournal.com]

Not to question your self-identification, but if you're trying to find a gender, maybe you're not cis?

[ashlyme.livejournal.com]

Doc, it's a good question, and to be honest, you're probably right. I was using too narrow a definition of trans, I guess.

- cheers, Ash

[docbrite.livejournal.com]

I think some definitely-cis people feel offended by the term, but it shouldn't be an insult. However, it might be a limiting descriptor for someone who's questioning their gender. (You also don't have to be just cis or trans -- there are genderqueer people and gender-shifters and gender-fuckers and other sorts I don't even know about!)

[ashlyme.livejournal.com]

Um, yeah, too much information there (been a bad week so far, sorry) but ditto with Siamese twins and such. Though the formaldehyde makes them hard to keep hold of.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Eh...not TMI.

[ladyblue56.livejournal.com]

We're already having August in the South, after the weirdest Spring ever - warm in late Feb and into March, then the tornadoes in late April. We had a few days of spring weather here and there but it's record-setting heat. The flowers and shrubs and such have all been blooming in fast forward mode - the crepe myrtles have already bloomed, I think the hydrangeas were the only flowering shrub that didn't bloomed early. Today and yesterday we had rain, our area catching the edge of the thunderstorms so we had rain but the storms weren't as close.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Two words.

Climate.

Change.

[opalblack.livejournal.com]

Hasn't the weather been strange lately?

[seph-ski.livejournal.com]

Butch up, people.

Thank you! I agree. I have a lot of friends who are very good people, social and political activists for some of my favorite causes, volunteers, and they always seem to preface everything that's not marshmallows and cotton candy with "TRIGGER WARNING!" It drives me mad. At first I thought I was just being bitchy, but the longer I thought it over, the more it annoyed me.

We all go through traumatic shit, that's just life. Are we really supposed to keep track of everything that might be upsetting for someone who might be listening to/reading us? I've had to suck it up and face the things that tried to take me down, it's just part of the healing process. And who are the people who think they're entitled to live in a protective bubbles? I'm sorry some people have been through shit so tough that they're easily rattled, but it's their job to figure out how to live in the world again, not the world's job to nurse and protect them.

...I'm sorry. That's probably both more and less than I wanted to say, and not even all I wanted to say. It's just a huge peeve of mine, and I get to ranting.

But thank you for saying what I've been thinking. You're the only one who has. If that makes me a heartless monster, then at least now I know I'm not the only monster out there.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

they always seem to preface everything that's not marshmallows and cotton candy with "TRIGGER WARNING!" It drives me mad. At first I thought I was just being bitchy, but the longer I thought it over, the more it annoyed me.

This shit is insane. A world of coddled babies.

And who are the people who think they're entitled to live in a protective bubbles?

We need to ask them that.


...I'm sorry. That's probably both more and less than I wanted to say, and not even all I wanted to say. It's just a huge peeve of mine, and I get to ranting.

You couldn't say enough.

You're the only one who has.

I'll be saying more...

[opalblack.livejournal.com]

In some cases, like that brutal McDonald's bashing video for example, I do appreciate the warning so I can make an informed decision about what I am exposing my occassionally delicate brainmeats to. Retraumatising isn't the same as catharsis; catharsis carries the seed of recovery while retraumatising only makes things worse.
It's important to avoid retraumatising as much as possible when living with PTSD, and I think the trigger warning concept was originally intended to help with that. However, to a great extent I agree, there is altogether too much walking on eggshells and scab picking goes on in internet land. When people with PTSD are saying butch the fuck up, someone is being too damned sensitive and fwagile.

I intuited but for some reason wasn't certain that you are living with PTSD. If I might be so bold, may I suggest a book called Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trama and How They Heal by Belleruth Naparstek (spelling from memory and probably got the surname wrong there, but you'll find it). Wanky title almost put me off it entirely (Get off it, I'm not a hero, I'm not an inspiration, I just stayed alive), but the book helped me immensely and continues to do so. I can honestly say it saved me and several of my friends. The first half of the book is the science and psychology of PTSD with some case stories, the second half is about treatment methods, also with case stories. It gives in full a noninvasive treatment program developed over many years by the author in clinical settings with hundreds of PTSD patients & specialists around the world. I gather she's even worked in the VA hospital programs and helped improve them.

If it helps you find some measure of peace or comfort in this life, it's a tremendous gift. I don't believe you deserve or need to suffer so.

xK

[opalblack.livejournal.com]

Lo! A copy surfaced in the cleaning, and it is indeed spelled Belleruth Naparstek.