greygirlbeast: (chi 5)
[personal profile] greygirlbeast
Yesterday, I wrote 1,103 words on Chapter Two of The Red Tree. Not a stunning writing day, but a decent one. Today, though...well...beginning last night...I realized I'm just not going to be up to writing today. It's just not...there. I don't know if this is exhaustion, depression, or relief, or if I'm just a little freaked out that we are actually here and settling into the new place in Providence. The last month has been a whirlwind. I feel as though it has beaten me to a pulp, and now there is only the work, and it's not so bad, the work...but sometimes I lose my footing. Oh, and there's a mountain of neglected email. There was a brief absence seizure last night.

I should announce that I'll be appearing at Readercon later this month, Friday and Saturday only, July 18-19. I have a reading scheduled. I have grown to hate doing conventions, so don't expect to see me doing much of this, even now that I'm all Yankeefied and social and all. I'll post my itinerary once I know it.

I think we're going to see Wall-E today, because Spooky and I are likely the only two sentient bipeds on earth who have yet to see it.

I was planning a New Moon ritual for tonight, out at Beavertail, but that's another thing I know I'm just not up to. It takes a clear mind —— the rituals —— and focus, and I presently haven't much of either. Better to set it aside until next month, than to botch it. I spent about 45 minutes, yesterday evening, after the writing was done, looking at local covens — the ones that are listed through Witchvox. There were one or two I almost emailed to set up interviews with. But That Little Voice kept pulling me back. I am weary of it being only me and Spooky, this quasi-solitary practice, but I suspect I'd be better off trying to found my own group than attempting to enter one. My issues with the focus of duality will surely cause me trouble trying to enter a coven, and I easily could list half a dozen other things. But, starting my own group, that takes a sort of energy, and experience, I do not have at this time. Maybe I'll look at the Massachusetts-based covens. Maybe something there will seem more "right."

I did manage to finish reading Chapter Four of the Triassic book yesterday. Spooky made spaghetti for dinner.

I think that's all I have for now. Here are the basement photos I promised a few days back. I think, at some point, Spooky and I should find the nerve to spend a night down there. The doorknobs are the best:











Spooky sees a face in this door. I'm not sure that I do. I see a circle above a broken horizontal line with an X below the line. Maybe that vaguely skull-shaped blob inside the circle is the face.





The doors were actually found lying on their sides. I have no idea how long they've been down there, or how many hands may have turned these knobs since 1875.





Date: 2008-07-02 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolven.livejournal.com
That basement is brilliant. I love it.

But, then, I'm a fan of spooky, spooky basements.

And sub-basements.

Date: 2008-07-02 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robyn-ma.livejournal.com
WALL•E is the most beautiful film in years, and says things that need to be said. It reminded me why I love movies. Also, I fell hard for the little guy.

Date: 2008-07-02 04:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scarletboi.livejournal.com
WALL-E is a perfect example of what a children's film should be.

And yes, he's ridiculously cute and lovable.

Date: 2008-07-02 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cucumberseed.livejournal.com
Yankeefied and social

I think that's the first time I've ever heard those terms used in conjunction.

Though I can imagine what my anxiety would do to me at a convention if people actually wanted to meet me, I do hope to run into you anyway at Readercon.

Date: 2008-07-02 04:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] txtriffidranch.livejournal.com
I think I may have to go to Readercon this year as well. If anything, I have the overwhelming urge to go out to Sean Wallace at Prime Books and introduce myself.

Date: 2008-07-02 04:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aetherialrumors.livejournal.com
The basement is awesome.

Though, beware any eerie scrapings and low, gutteral gibbering.

Date: 2008-07-02 05:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whiskeychick.livejournal.com
my whole entire clan has yet to see Wall-E, much to the chagrin of my youngerling bipeds.

Date: 2008-07-02 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] n5red.livejournal.com
So, the implication is that I am a non-sentient biped?

Date: 2008-07-02 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fornikate.livejournal.com
I want to live in that basement.

Date: 2008-07-02 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timesygn.livejournal.com
"I am weary of it being only me and Spooky, this quasi-solitary practice, but I suspect I'd be better off trying to found my own group than attempting to enter one."

My partner and I are of the opinion these days that the best covens form organically as opposed to being the result of the usual seeking/joining/initiation pattern. Perhaps this is only the result of perspective (or ageing, which makes fitting into already-established groups more of a pain in the ass ...)

" ... starting my own group, that takes a sort of energy, and experience, I do not have at this time."

There is much to be said for casting a charm to draw the "right" others into your orbit.

Date: 2008-07-02 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

There is much to be said for casting a charm to draw the "right" others into your orbit.

In other words, an ad on the internet?

Date: 2008-07-02 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timesygn.livejournal.com
No, I meant an actual charm. An in, focused intent translated into action via ritual ("the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will"). Even if one doesn't believe in the hocus-pocus aspect of Magick, such runes and workings can position us psychologically to be receptive to the "right others" when they drift into our orbit.

There are a variety of ways to approach this. If it doesn't strike you as ridiculous, I am prepared to offer suggestions (for what it's worth).

p.s. TALES OF PAIN AND WONDER *finally* came into the library today. It is now sitting on my desk.

Date: 2008-07-02 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com
No, I meant an actual charm. An in, focused intent translated into action via ritual ("the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will"). Even if one doesn't believe in the hocus-pocus aspect of Magick, such runes and workings can position us psychologically to be receptive to the "right others" when they drift into our orbit.

See, this is exactly the sort of reason I think most serious covens (as opposed to indiscriminate aggregations of fluffy bunnies) wouldn't want to touch me with a ten-foot pole.

Near as I can tell, the phrase "the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will" is, to my reckoning, inditinguishable from saying, "Wait. I changed my mind. I shall do this, instead." That's easy. I do it all the time, without rituals. Unless, one believes hesheit can somehow warp or alter the Cosmos by will, in some way other than all the usual ways that will warps and alters the Cosmos. I breath. I drop a stone. I make a phone call. I type these words. Change occurs in conformity with my will (keeping in mind that many unexpected and undesired effects will also occur).

Magick does not reshuffle cause and effect to suit our needs. Which is to say, in this instance, I cannot imagine any way that a ritual would increase the odds of drawing to me those ideally suited to my species of "Wicca" than placing detailed ads in places like Witchvox, or fliers locally, or whatever. It likely would't hurt, either (unless I actually expected it to work, and so neglected to do the genuine work required), but the odds of success or failure would stay the same.

p.s. TALES OF PAIN AND WONDER *finally* came into the library today. It is now sitting on my desk.

Thank you.

Date: 2008-07-02 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timesygn.livejournal.com
"Near as I can tell, the phrase 'the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will' is, to my reckoning, inditinguishable from saying, 'Wait. I changed my mind.' That's easy. I do it all the time, without rituals."

Either that, OR ... you use rituals all the time without realizing it. (Just one perspective.) I'd posit that we are ritual-creating beings, that magical thinking (- in the psychological sense -) is critical to our make-up. Intentional ritual amounts to simply taking control of the process. If the brain is a radio, ritual is a fiddling with the receiver in new and different ways that enable us to reach areas of the dial we might ordinarily miss (dreams, intuition, etc.)

"Magick does not reshuffle cause and effect to suit our needs."

No. But it can create and/or amplify different causes, which lead to different effects. Remember: sometimes the act of merely observing the experiment leads to different results.

" ... most serious covens ... wouldn't want to touch me with a ten-foot pole."

Shucks, Caitlin ... *we'd* touch you with a ten foot pole.

(*ducks to avoid hurled grimoire*)

Date: 2008-07-02 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com
Either that, OR ... you use rituals all the time without realizing it. (Just one perspective.) I'd posit that we are ritual-creating beings, that magical thinking (- in the psychological sense -) is critical to our make-up. Intentional ritual amounts to simply taking control of the process. If the brain is a radio, ritual is a fiddling with the receiver in new and different ways that enable us to reach areas of the dial we might ordinarily miss (dreams, intuition, etc.)

We are speaking from such entirely different paradigms. To me, you're struggling to hang onto superstition ("magical thinking" sensu psychology, rationalism). It sounds like the sort of thing that turned me against Chaos Magick. None of this requires magick (my definition, "the willfull invocation of awe"). It's just another sort of positive thinking. I do agree that humans are inherently given to "magical thinking," but I also would say that is one of their greatest faults.

Shucks, Caitlin ... *we'd* touch you with a ten foot pole.

Might ought to make it 12....

Date: 2008-07-02 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] derekcfpegritz.livejournal.com
So where's the old manhole that leads to ghoul-land? I know they may have asked you to keep it secret but, come on, do you know of any ghouls with Internet access? They'll never know!

Date: 2008-07-02 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darklily66.livejournal.com
Re the face in the door: I see a golden retriever's face...or maybe a panda.

Date: 2008-07-02 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] readingthedark.livejournal.com
We'll have to make a point of crossing paths at ReaderCon.

I'll be the one spending most of my time in the dealer room and the bar, repeatedly insisting that it would be nice if Fandom bathed more than twice a month.

I will be at your reading no matter what.

Date: 2008-07-02 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I'll be the one spending most of my time in the dealer room and the bar, repeatedly insisting that it would be nice if Fandom bathed more than twice a month

No way to argue with that.

Face

Date: 2008-07-02 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cliff52.livejournal.com
I definitely see it. I googled images of "ghostly face" and found this: http://www.paranormaldatabase.com/hereford/andy_skull.jpg

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Caitlín R. Kiernan

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