greygirlbeast: (chidown)
[personal profile] greygirlbeast
So, here's the deal:

1) This afternoon, Spooky learned that here in the Great State of Georgia it is illegal to keep any non-venomous native snake species as a pet. Hence, Drinker was illicit. I was aghast and refused to believe this was true until she showed me a number of pertinent websites. Being relatively new to Georgia, I had no idea. But, remember, here in Georgia, dildos are illegal, gay sex and marriage are illegal, you can't buy booze on Sunday, and clit piercings are illegal. So it should come as no suprise that keeping a DeKay's brown snake can get you jail time and/or a hefty fine. However...

2) While it is illegal to keep any non-venomous native snake species as a pet, it is perfectly legal to keep venomous local species. Just not venomous non-native species. Canebrake rattlers are a go; black mambas, that's a no-no. Near as I can tell, this came about sometime in the '90s as an attempt to stop poaching of reptile species on the Federal Endangered Species List, most notably the Eastern Indigo snake (Drymarchon corais couperi), which had been driven from much of its former range by ruthless commercial collectors. By the way, the ban extends to pretty much every native non-ophidian reptile species — lizards, tortoises, and crocodilians — as well as local amphibians. To my knowledge, the only other state where it is illegal to keep Dekay's brown snakes is Iowa (there known as the "Midland brown snake").

3) In its infinite fucking anthropocentric wisdom, Georgia Law does not protect "poisonous species...because of their status as a nuisance or other reason." Freshwater turtles are also cited as a "nuisance" and not granted protection.

4) I am a staunch supporter of laws that protect species which are endangered, threatened or at risk, and I am a rabid proponent of habitat protection. But the law in question, while more or less well-meaning, is inconsistent and manages to, as they are wont to say, "toss the baby out with the bath water." The same reasoning and ethics that dictates that non-venomous species must be protected should obviously extend to venomous species as well. Whether or not a species poses a threat to humans should not (and generally is no longer) the criterion that determines whether it should be granted protected status. Also, there is no law prohibiting the keeping of non-native non-venomous species. So, I could keep a Sonoran kingsnake, for example. Hell, I could keep ten. Never mind the threat from escaped specimens establishing breeding populations and supplanting local species that occupy the same or similar ecological niches (see the State of Florida). Also, it has been my experience that children who keep reptiles as pets tend to grow up free of the irrational fear of snakes that leads to so many unnecesary reptile deaths. Also, domestic cats — a major threat to local reptile populations — run free. You will recall, Drinker was rescued from a cat.

5) Regardless of the rampant stupidity at work here, not wishing to wind up in the pokey or fined, we contacted an acquaintance at AWARE (Atlanta Wild Animal Rescue Effort). We explained the situation, that the snake had been rescued from a cat, but was now alert and eating and had pretty much healed. We were thinking perhaps we should turn Drinker over to Southeastern Reptile Rescue, as they have an amnesty program. However, our acquaintance at AWARE said it would be sufficient to release Drinker ourselves. He even recommended an ideal spot nearby, at the northern edge of Candler Park, away from people, cars, and (hopefully) most of the local free-range cats.

6) After I was done writing for the day (about 6 p.m., I think), we slipped Drinker into my handy professional snakebag (ie, a pillowcase) and walked with him to Candler Park (dodging joggers, dog walkers, and golfers). We found a nice leafy spot beneath the trees, said our good-byes, and sent herhim slithering on herhis way. I would not have thought it possible I could become so attached to a snake in just five days, but there you go. At least we know we saved herhim from being a snack for an already well-fed housecat. I have the empty shell of the first snail shehe ate while in our care; herhis face will be sorely missed.

7) We took photos (behind the cut) on the walk, most of which have nothing to do with releasing Drinker (warning, squirrel gore):




Like I said, squirrel gore.



Flowers everywhere. Spring is here at last.



Spooky telling Drinker to write and not forget to take his Extract of Malt.



Howard Hughes has had it up to here with Georgia and cares not who knows it.



No, really. It's the gods' honest truth. Every year at that Bohemian Grove Moloch-worshiping shindig they have for all the Xtian fascist pagans, kittens are a featured hors'deurves. I will not speak of the appetizers.


Okay. I'm exhausted and disgusted. I think I'm gonna go drink some good tequila and sodomize myself with an illegal sex toy....

Date: 2007-03-13 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mellawyrden.livejournal.com
You are both so gorgeous, I just don't know what to say.

Date: 2007-03-13 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elmocho.livejournal.com
The insane dildo laws now make me think of The Wet Spots' (http://www.wetspotsmusic.com/) song "Texas Annie". I think this is an alternate chorus, but applies:

"'Cause you can't buy a dildo in Texas,
So here's a chance to stick it to the man:
Take every opportunity to whack off with impunity,
Go fuck yourselves as often as you can."


I find them a little more cheesy and less sophisticated than they claim, but as neo-Vaudevillian acts go, not bad.

Date: 2007-03-13 04:26 am (UTC)
sovay: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sovay
That is a beautiful photograph of you, and the one with Spooky should be an illustration for something. I am so sorry about Drinker.

Date: 2007-03-13 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluharlequin.livejournal.com
Having been involved in the snake breeding community for quite a number of years now, I too have had my fill of bullshit legislation about the keeping of reptiles.
That being said, in many cases, I find the laws surrounding the keeping of native species often work the way that they're supposed to, which is to say, they keep unscrupulous keepers/breeders/re-sellers from collecting large numbers of animals from the local wild populations.
*Shrug*
But it ain't perfect. There's all sorts of loopholes, and a determined person can find their way around such things. I'm not sure I've got a point here. Herp related wildlife laws are often a double edged sword, and usually a royal pain in the butt.

Date: 2007-03-13 06:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kambriel.livejournal.com
The laws of man... it must make them feel like they are in control of the world. I'm sure the world will have the last laugh.

Date: 2007-03-13 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bucketopants.livejournal.com
I know that the law regarding piercing passed the House, I do not see anywhere on the net, or looking up Georgia law, that the bill passed the Senate, or was even voted upon. I know there was a great uproar when the Georgia House passed the bill, but for some reason I remember hearing that the bill died and the law was never passed. I remember because hearing that made me feel a little less ashamed for living in Georgia.

Date: 2007-03-13 07:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pierced-tinks.livejournal.com
must be hard to enforce the illegal clit piercings...

Date: 2007-03-13 09:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] girfan.livejournal.com
Something to amuse you:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v444/_jessicus_/Lio%20Comics/lio070313.gif

Date: 2007-03-13 10:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cause-catyljan.livejournal.com
But, remember, here in Georgia, dildos are illegal, gay sex and marriage are illegal, you can't buy booze on Sunday, and clit piercings are illegal

How does one go about enforcing such laws? I mean, yes, you can prohibit the piercings being performed, but what if someone already has one? Do they do random stop searches or something?

Date: 2007-03-13 10:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] setsuled.livejournal.com
I'm very sorry Drinker had to go. And he definitely shouldn't have to live apart from you while Dick Cheney is allowed indoors.

Date: 2007-03-13 02:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stsisyphus.livejournal.com
This afternoon, Spooky learned that here in the Great State of Georgia it is illegal to keep any non-venomous native snake species as a pet.

Maternal Copulator. I liked Drinker. I liked himher a lot. I would have voted herhim into office were it possible, s/he was that nice of a fellow. Alan Moore could have been his running mate. S/He could have been on America's Next Top Model, at least.

...remember, here in Georgia, dildos are illegal, gay sex and marriage are illegal, you can't buy booze on Sunday, and clit piercings are illegal.

Dildos, sensu stricto, are also illegal here in Texas. However, "Novelty Cake Toppers" are not. So, it's kind of funny to go into a sex shop & find racks upon racks of rubber and plastic phalli (or phallus surrogates) rigorously labeled "CAKE TOPPER". This also makes me wonder whether it will be illegal to travel across state lines for the purpose of obtaining a clit piercing. Hey! Does that mean that PAs are also outlawed?

...kittens are a featured hors'deurves

Dammit. Mel's been wondering what happened to Porch Cat.

In other news, I'm always giddy to see Spooky's dreads. I don't know why. Your fore-warmers are also cute.

Date: 2007-03-13 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tjcrowley.livejournal.com
SQUIRREL!

Now you know why I left Georgia -- the idiotic laws. They annulled the one I was arrested for, though.

Date: 2007-03-13 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sfmarty.livejournal.com
I read in one of Gerold Durrell's books the fairly graphic description of the length of life of an animal in the wild, vs the captured one. Also the ailments and parasites they tend to have. I am so sorry you had to send Drinker out into the world. He seemed to be a very nice snake.


By the by, I saw that cartoon this morning that Girfan linked to and also thought of you.

Date: 2007-03-14 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loosechanj.livejournal.com
I'm all for clit piercings, but it really ought to be illegal for people to offer to show their daughter's to you. *whimper*

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Caitlín R. Kiernan

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