fault mine or fate the final division

[greygirlbeast]

I am at this moment exceedingly groggy, though I've been awake now for more than an hour. I did get about seven and a half hours sleep last night, which is much better than my average.

If all my days were like yesterday I surely would give up this writing thing and become a bartender. I wrote 2,264 words (3,324 if you count the blog entry), which is about the best I can ever expect from any single day. I also had to deal with last minute corrections to the galleys of Tales from the Woeful Platypus and the cover copy for Low Red Moon. I'm sure there were other things as well, but I'm too groggy to recall them all. I was still working at 12:12 a.m. (CaST), when I finally decided enough's enough and called it a day.

Sissy (scarletboi) and Spooky (humglum) have been working on the new website design. There's a temp front page up right now. You should have a look. I like what they're doing with the place. By the way, the Whitman's Salmagundi tin in the photograph was a gift from Poppy (docbrite) in 1996 (?autumn). To quote from an old interview I did sometime in 2000:

Poppy Z. Brite sent me one of the original [1920s] tins, which she'd come across in a Magazine Street antique store [in New Orleans]. She bought it for me, even though she had no idea whatsoever that I'd used Salmagundi as a character or that the box had any significance to me. It sort of freaked us both out just a little, I think. Anyway, I guess that's not so much who Salmagundi Desvernine is, as the inspiration behind her, isn't it? Doug Winter has called her my 'avatar,' which is partly true. Like Jimmy DeSade (another recurring character and Salmagundi's consort), she's a focal point for certain ideas. But she's also a character I care about a great deal, that I think of first as a person. To me, Salmagundi is something beautiful and strong that the world has lost or given up, like faith and hope, something that we're not likely to see again.

By the way, anyone who subscribes to Sirenia Digest today, any time before midnight (PST), will receive a free signed copy of the trade paperback edition of Silk. All you gotta do is click here, read the somewhat out of date FAQ (the stories are longer; it comes on or about the 21st of each month, not the 14th), then subscribe.

I continue to try to take Wicca apart and rebuild it, reconstruct it, making of it something more suited to my needs (at least until something better comes along). Part of this is the systematic expurgation of those many elements in Wicca which Gerald Gardner borrowed from Judeo-Xtian mysticism, specifically from the Ordo Templi Orientis, Rosicrucianism, and Freemasonry. All this stuff would be fine, if I wanted to study ceremonial magick or the Golden Dawn. But I do not believe it has any place in paganism. For example, for the time being I'm still using the "black-handled knife" of Gardner's Wicca, but I'm choosing never to refer to it as an athame, a term which can be traced back to The Key of Solomon, where the black-handled knife is referred to variously as arthanus, artamus, and (most tellingly) arthame, depending on the ms. copy in question. Instead, I'm using the Sindarin word sigil (= dagger or knife; pronounced "see-geel"), as Tolkien's mythos resonates with me much more strongly than does Judeo-Xtian mythology (despite Tolkien's own Xtianity). Indeed, ultimately, I may use Sindarin as my ritual language. All this may seem like "mere" semantics, but words are magick, after all, in that words carry powerful conscious and unconscious connotations. If magick is truly the "art of changing consciousness at will," then I would argue that the precise words involved, and all their connotations, are of the utmost importance. And as all mythologies are equally fictional (and therefore equally "true"), it hardly matters if I draw upon terms gleaned from Hebrew mysticism, ancient Greece, the Elder Edda, or The Silmarillion, excepting in that these different mythologies have very different subjective meanings to me.

As with most of the country, the weather here has turned bitter cold. I did not even leave the house yesterday. I think the low last night was 26F, and the forecast is calling for even colder temperatures tonight.

Okay. That's it for now. The platypus is looking askance, and that's never good.

Comments

[eldritch00.livejournal.com]

While I've (shamefully!) yet to read any of the Salmagundi stories, I do think that's a gorgeous box and one that excites me about the new site design even more than I already am.

[anthologie.livejournal.com]

That's so awesome that "sigil" is a word in Sindarin, expecially since it's also a word in English -- and a common magical technique in chaos magic.

What I love about Sindarin is the multitude of possibilities for double meanings. My name in Hebrew (Beth) means "house" or "temple," but in Sindarin means "words." As I writer I often wind up thinking of myself -- because of that double-meaning -- as a "house of words."

[blubeagle.livejournal.com]

Cait,

Didn't Tolkien have a problem with religion? I remember him having an infamous fallout with CS Lewis, over it.

[edwarddain.livejournal.com]

IIRC it was because when he managed to get Lewis to convert to Christianity, Lewis became Anglican rather than RC (and became rather anti-RC as the years went by). There were a couple of other reasons, put that's the primary doctrinal issue.

[blubeagle.livejournal.com]

That's what I was thinking, but I couldn't remember the specifics.

Thanks.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Didn't Tolkien have a problem with religion? I remember him having an infamous fallout with CS Lewis, over it.

See Humphrey Carpenter (1977). Tolkien: A Biography. (New York: Ballantine Books), as well as other sources.

Tolkien was a devout Roman Catholic. Indeed, he was largely responsible for converting C. S. Lewis from atheism to Xtianity. I believe the falling out between Tolkien and Lewis arose more from Lewis' becoming part of the Church of England (rather than a Catholic), as well as Lewis' use of religious allegory, of which Tolkien strongly disapproved, and Lewis' habit of acting as an Xtian apologist.

Indeed, in part, it's Tolkien's decision to keep his mythology pretty much free of religion that draws me to it.

[blubeagle.livejournal.com]

This is what I was clumsily trying to say. Thanks. And thanks for the biography info.

[edwarddain.livejournal.com]

I never had the impression that Tolkien objected to allegory per se, but more the fact that Lewis' was so incredibly heavy-handed clumsy in his use of it - combined with being a apologist.

I don't have the references handy, but Tolkien admist some strong spiritual or mystical (rather than religious) themes as well as some incredibly broad allegory. I'm thinking specifically of the "Gandalf is an angel" statement from one of his letters and the general cosmological themes (monotheism, divine kingship, salvation through suffering, etc) that run through his works.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I never had the impression that Tolkien objected to allegory per se, but more the fact that Lewis' was so incredibly heavy-handed clumsy in his use of it - combined with being a apologist.

I don't have time to track down the quotes just now, but in Carpenter's bio, Tolkien is quoted as objecting very strenuously to allegory as a literary device. I believe he even used the word "despise." But I have not read all his letters yet, and I never expect people to be consistant (certainly I am not always so, though I often try).

[edwarddain.livejournal.com]

Given the prolific letter writing over the course of his life I'm certain that it's quite likely that he changed his mind on any number of things.

It may be that post-Narnia his attitudes towards allegory took a major turn downwards (though I cannot recall any specific words that support allegory - I am more looking at his body of work). I do pretty specifically recall that he hated what Lewis had done.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I do pretty specifically recall that he hated what Lewis had done.

He did, indeed. He thought it both juvenile (which, of course, it is) and superficial.

I think here we reach that point where allegory may lie in the eye of the beholder. It's hard, for example, to read TLotR and not see Tolkien's loathing of industrialization and enviromental degredation in Saruman's thoughtless destruction of forests. It's hard not to read much of the War of the Ring as an allegory for WWII. And so on. I could probably name a dozen ways we could perceive these works as allegorical, but that does not mean that Tolkien intentionally made them so. It also doesn't mean that unconscious allegory did not creep in.

[edwarddain.livejournal.com]

I could probably name a dozen ways we could perceive these works as allegorical, but that does not mean that Tolkien intentionally made them so. It also doesn't mean that unconscious allegory did not creep in.

Works for me!

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Sigil I like because of the connotations of the word, in its use as symbol. Cross-etymology gets us the concept of a symbol used as a knife.

I really quite like that.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Sigil I like because of the connotations of the word, in its use as symbol. Cross-etymology gets us the concept of a symbol used as a knife.

See, I must admit I was actually rather disappointed to discover that the Sindarin word for dagger was sigil, partly because I have become so entirely disenchanted with all aspects of chaos magick. Sadly, I fear chaos magick has tainted to word sigil for me, though, in truth, I should not allow it to do so. It's a good word, in English and Sindarin, with many useful connotations.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

I learned the word completely apart from chaos magick, when I was a kid, so it has continued to hold those orignial connotations, for me, over an above what anyone else has done to it.

Chaos magick bothers me, on a number of levels, but, as you say, I try not to let it dictate the words I use, or the thoughtforms I generate. It just means i spend a little more time telling people the history of their words, and (hopefully) getting them to think. That's something you do, as a matter of course (intentionaly on no), and there are many who appreciate it.

Hmmmm...

[edwarddain.livejournal.com]

I continue to try to take Wicca apart and rebuild it, reconstruct it, making of it something more suited to my needs (at least until something better comes along).

I think a great many people end up in the same position - though the current BTW and Wicca wars are complicating the matter to a degree. I suspect that's the reason for the rise of the various Recon Trads.

I know that I started with 80's Wicca (a different but rather similar creature than we have now), moved into Ceremonial magic and then Chaos magic rather quickly and then ended up in the NeoShamanistic style that I have now (not the Harner pap). The reason's were varied but really boiled down to the same thing. I didn't like the answers that I got from "Wicca" and as I explored the CM the obvious parallels kept cropping up. The Chaos magic is/was great stuff, but of limited value to spirituality as opposed to magic - the NeoShamanism has managed to give me a path that encourages both without insisting that I drop anything.

As a matter of curiosity, in stripping out all those influences what are you managing to retain?

Re: Hmmmm...

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

As a matter of curiosity, in stripping out all those influences what are you managing to retain?

The answer to this question would be a bit lengthy. I'll try to adress it in tomorrow's entry.

Thank you.

[edwarddain.livejournal.com]

I look forward to it!

I suppose that I should also reveal that I live with Hermetic. Hell, not only do I live with one but I married one. We make a pretty interesting pair, she's very heavily involved in Comasonry and equally involved in Western Mysteries Lodgework. In all, this gives us both a rather interesting perspective on things because we take some radically different ways to get to often the same basic thing. Late-night conversations can be quite interesting...

[derekcfpegritz.livejournal.com]

I continue to try to take Wicca apart and rebuild it, reconstruct it, making of it something more suited to my needs (at least until something better comes along).

As well you should, lest you and your spirituality become rusted with laziness! I've a number of Wiccan friends whose faith, for lack of a better word, has become so overly-ritualized and almost dogmatic that I've had to tell them that they're no better than fundamentalist Christians.

Syncretism and individuality is the name of the game when it comes to spirituality these days. And, yes, it may seem odd for a stonecold atheist and materialist like myself to be making such a comment, but I still identify my own "belief system" as just that--a memetic structure that I favor for use in interpreting and understanding the world around me. Other belief systems do the same in different ways for different people, hence my devotion to the old motto (and John Lennon song): "Whatever gets you through the night / is all right!"

By the way, Ms. K--this is my new 100%-public LJ, where I'll be focusing the lion's share of my personal writings about...well, writing stuff and music and whatnot. The oneirophrenia account isn't going anywhere, but I'm just using it for friends-only personal stuff--i.e., bitching and moaning about the healthcare system and how much I hate the government. Heh.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I've a number of Wiccan friends whose faith, for lack of a better word, has become so overly-ritualized and almost dogmatic that I've had to tell them that they're no better than fundamentalist Christians.

This what I keep hearing referred to as Wicca having become "Jesus in a dress," the proliferation of "white witches," the establishment of dogma within disciplines that, by definition, must have no dogma. It's a mess.

Syncretism and individuality is the name of the game when it comes to spirituality these days.

I have mixed feelings about syncretism. It's wonderful from a comparative mythology standpoint, and from appreciating the utility of all mythologies, but it drives me nuts when I see or hear of people invoking Ra and Kali and Freya all at once, something like that. Mixing traditions willy nilly. But this is a long rant that should be saved for another time, when I can be more articulate and not sound like an intolerant dumb ass.

it may seem odd for a stonecold atheist and materialist

Keep in mind, as I have said before, I'm still an atheist. I do not see atheism and paganism as incompatible. My goddess is a metaphor. :-)

[derekcfpegritz.livejournal.com]

BTW, what's up with the "bunny people" icons? I actually don't recognize them! Expand my horizons here.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

BTW, what's up with the "bunny people" icons?

They are the Viera, a (sexy) race from Ivalice in Final Fantasy XII.

[ladyeuthanasia.livejournal.com]

Caitlin, I don't know if it helps, but I've been interviewed a couple of times now on

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Caitlin, I don't know if it helps, but I've been interviewed a couple of times now on <a href="podcast.grottomarisluna.com/>Grotto Radio</a>, a podcast about paganism. In this latest podcast the host JD has a commentary at the end where he discusses how paganism used to be about someone forging their own path in magick and spirituality. Now he says it's more about people buying crapola books at crystal-squishing shops that they follow religiously. (He even plays some of <a href="http://www.myspace.com/pagansatire">Paul Mitchell's</a> music, the English pagan folksinger. Paul's music satirizes the pagan "scene" for just that.)

You're not alone in creating your own way. A lot of us have no choice, but it's good to hear someone talking about it.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

You're not alone in creating your own way. A lot of us have no choice, but it's good to hear someone talking about it.

It's something I've had a lot of trouble opening up about in the LJ. But if I'm going to include any discussion of my magickal work and paganism here, then it's ineviatble. And I know I will piss off the fluffy bunnies. But I am determined, after years of waffling between inadequate patchwork paths, to make something that works for me (and it would be nice, of course, if it just happened to work for someone else, as well). But, yeah. I assume you've read Drawing Down the Moon. If nothing else, it serves to demonstrate how neopaganism has gone from being an extraordinarily diverse, intellectual, non-dogamatic, tech-and-science friendly movement ('50s-'70s) to being dominated by the New Agers ('80s-now).

how paganism used to be about someone forging their own path in magick and spirituality. Now he says it's more about people buying crapola books at crystal-squishing shops that they follow religiously.

Like I was saying...

[wolven.livejournal.com]

That's amazing and inspiring, and I'm glad to read three or four people are on similar endeavors.

Damn it. Now I have to think of you as fictional. I don't get inspiration fromm real people...

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Now I have to think of you as fictional.

Trust me. That's not the least bit problematic. You simply have to define which of the "me" constructs you're thinking of at any given time: Caitlín, Nar'eth, Tai'lah, etc.

[wolven.livejournal.com]

Okay now that's just freaky. I've been working on exactly that concept, for the past two days...

[ladyeuthanasia.livejournal.com]

Ah! Sorry, here's the link I was trying to include in case you want to hear JD at the end of #6:

http://podcast.grottomarisluna.com/

I've read Drawing Down the Moon, as well as Starhawk's Spiral Dance and other, lesser-known works. I've also read the Schueler books on Enochian magick and shelves of everything that even turns its head and kisses it sideways -- not because I was looking to follow a particular path, but because I wanted to find explanations for things happening in my life. Once I decided to just let things unfold and see where it leads, I stopped reading and started living.

Good luck, my dear. And please do discuss it when you're able.