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greygirlbeastAct 1: Though all these deadlines and the impending trip to Rhode Island have placed me in a situation wherein I need to be writing every single waking moment, and though I said that stuff about Gandalf and Pippin and the deep breath before the plunge, and though I am surely one of the most productive writers I've ever personally met (if I do say so myself, and I do)...still, I'm not an assembly line. I cannot write as an assembly line, no matter how much I may desire to or need to. On Tuesday, I finished "The Cryomancer's Daughter (Murder Ballad No. 3)" and had every intention of beginning a vignette for Tales from the Woeful Platypus on Wednesday. When writing on Wednesday fizzled, I resolved it would happen on Thursday. And here I am, and it's getting late on Thursday, and I have only a title — "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Ghoul" — and a handful of ideas and about two hundred discarded words. Because I'm not a gaddamn assembly line, though it's not for any lack of trying. Because the words come only when the words come. Maybe by Saturday, I'll be writing again. Please cross your fingers, toes, and/or pedipalps on my behalf.
Act 2: A free (yes, FREE) e-version of my sf novella The Dry Salvages will soon be available from Subterranean Press. I do not yet know all the formats it will be available in. As many as possible, I suppose. One of the things I'll be doing during the trip is reading over the story again and creating a revised text for Bill Schafer. This is what we call an experiment. Hopefully, something good will come of it.
Act 3: Though I have been silent on the subject of late, I continue to practice and identify as Wiccan, but I also continue the search for some branch of neopaganism with which I am much more compatible. Most recently, this has led me to investigate Feri. And I must admit there are some aspects which I find attractive: the general absence of heterocentrism and gender polarity, no general adherence to the "threefold law," an emphasis on ecstasy rather than fertility, and so forth. And yet, it also has much that annoys me to distraction: incorporation of the myth of the "Attacotti" or whatever you choose to call Murray's Pictish "little people," Victor Anderson's preposterous claim to have been initiated into a preexisting witchcraft tradition at the age of nine in the Oregon woods, the inclusion of aspects of Xtian mysticism, claims to antiquity and a prehistoric origin, etc. Mostly, I feel as though I'm chasing my tail round and round. There are days, like today, where I cannot begin to understand what ever set me on this path, why I could not be content with my dogged rationalism, but then I go and have a day (or night) when I understand precisely what precipitated this search.
Act 4: Yes, of course I'm watching Project Runway 3. But so far, I have no clear favourites, and all I know for sure is that I loathe Malan Breton with a passion. I believe the word which best describes him is oleaginous, both in the sense of a thing being oily and in that other sense relating to smugness and all that is unctuous. Put another way, ewww. The man makes me want to bathe, and I fear he'll be around most of the season.
Act 5: I spent part of yesterday listening to Thom Yorke's solo album, The Eraser, which I quite like.
Act 6: Also yesterday, Spooky and I made a second trip to the "pet sematary" to get more photographs, and this time we discovered it seems to have some peculiarities relating to our perception of its overall size. When I wrote of it on the 11th, I said that is was "maybe three feet across at its widest point." The first thing that struck me upon seeing it the second time was that it was considerably larger than that, perhaps four feet wide. However, I paced it off and Spooky and I were both astounded to discover that it is actually about eight feet at the oval's widest (east-west) dimension. I paced it off again. Again, eight feet. Looking at it, it really appears no more than four feet wide. I'm assuming there's some perfectly ordinary explanation for this discretion between our perceptions and our measurements. We'll be going back with a tape measure to try to figure it out. Meanwhile, more photos (behind the cut):
Act 7: Simian Publishing has posted the cover for Into the Dreamlands, which will reprint "So Runs the World Away." It looks like this:
Act 8: Please have a look at the current eBay auctions. We'd have listed more items, were we not presently so busy. Note that the copy of the subpress hardback of Low Red Moon is one of the few I have, which means it's one of the very few I will be auctioning. So, if you want to get this particular edition of the book from me, you really might want to bid. And, as always, thanks muchly.
Act 2: A free (yes, FREE) e-version of my sf novella The Dry Salvages will soon be available from Subterranean Press. I do not yet know all the formats it will be available in. As many as possible, I suppose. One of the things I'll be doing during the trip is reading over the story again and creating a revised text for Bill Schafer. This is what we call an experiment. Hopefully, something good will come of it.
Act 3: Though I have been silent on the subject of late, I continue to practice and identify as Wiccan, but I also continue the search for some branch of neopaganism with which I am much more compatible. Most recently, this has led me to investigate Feri. And I must admit there are some aspects which I find attractive: the general absence of heterocentrism and gender polarity, no general adherence to the "threefold law," an emphasis on ecstasy rather than fertility, and so forth. And yet, it also has much that annoys me to distraction: incorporation of the myth of the "Attacotti" or whatever you choose to call Murray's Pictish "little people," Victor Anderson's preposterous claim to have been initiated into a preexisting witchcraft tradition at the age of nine in the Oregon woods, the inclusion of aspects of Xtian mysticism, claims to antiquity and a prehistoric origin, etc. Mostly, I feel as though I'm chasing my tail round and round. There are days, like today, where I cannot begin to understand what ever set me on this path, why I could not be content with my dogged rationalism, but then I go and have a day (or night) when I understand precisely what precipitated this search.
Act 4: Yes, of course I'm watching Project Runway 3. But so far, I have no clear favourites, and all I know for sure is that I loathe Malan Breton with a passion. I believe the word which best describes him is oleaginous, both in the sense of a thing being oily and in that other sense relating to smugness and all that is unctuous. Put another way, ewww. The man makes me want to bathe, and I fear he'll be around most of the season.
Act 5: I spent part of yesterday listening to Thom Yorke's solo album, The Eraser, which I quite like.
Act 6: Also yesterday, Spooky and I made a second trip to the "pet sematary" to get more photographs, and this time we discovered it seems to have some peculiarities relating to our perception of its overall size. When I wrote of it on the 11th, I said that is was "maybe three feet across at its widest point." The first thing that struck me upon seeing it the second time was that it was considerably larger than that, perhaps four feet wide. However, I paced it off and Spooky and I were both astounded to discover that it is actually about eight feet at the oval's widest (east-west) dimension. I paced it off again. Again, eight feet. Looking at it, it really appears no more than four feet wide. I'm assuming there's some perfectly ordinary explanation for this discretion between our perceptions and our measurements. We'll be going back with a tape measure to try to figure it out. Meanwhile, more photos (behind the cut):
Act 7: Simian Publishing has posted the cover for Into the Dreamlands, which will reprint "So Runs the World Away." It looks like this:
Act 8: Please have a look at the current eBay auctions. We'd have listed more items, were we not presently so busy. Note that the copy of the subpress hardback of Low Red Moon is one of the few I have, which means it's one of the very few I will be auctioning. So, if you want to get this particular edition of the book from me, you really might want to bid. And, as always, thanks muchly.
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no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 09:48 pm (UTC)It's off In My Life (1966). I'll e-mail you the file...
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 10:07 pm (UTC)The Dresden Dolls, defintely. Thanks!
Re: Assembly Line Writing
Date: 2006-07-13 09:11 pm (UTC)Ah well, back to writing more code... that, at least, I can manage in assembly line fashion... =)
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 09:14 pm (UTC)*shrugs* Thems my thoughts. All I know is that Feri tools are very powerful, and the Feri energy is compatible with me in ways no other energy current has been. Also, I enjoy the individuality, and the freedom to decide on my own about things, figure out what works and what doesn't for myself.
~Morgan
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 09:31 pm (UTC)~Morgan
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 10:05 pm (UTC)Thanks for the link...
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 10:04 pm (UTC)I have a reluctance regarding tossing things out, even when it's plainly obvious, as is the case with both Wicca and Feri, that a "tradition" is a recent invention. It's a hard thing to explain, why I feel this way, but it has something to do with the desire for an integral whole. If the inclusion of any one thing is arbitrary, if it may be discarded because I don't happen to like it, then everything seems, to me, equally disposable. And I begin to feel as if I'm merely creating my own new syncritization. Which wasn't what I set out to do when all this started. I begin to fear, though, I will be left no other option.
Again, something I've no use for, so I tossed it. Victor's supposed initiation is generally viewed nowadays to have been an astral thing, not so much something that happened on the physical plane (and I've heard that he often didn't clearly seperate such experiences from ordinary physical ones).
That's interesting. I've not encountered this explanation of Victor's "encounter" (but that's not surprising).
Also, I enjoy the individuality, and the freedom to decide on my own about things, figure out what works and what doesn't for myself.
This may come as a shock, but I have a fierce streak of authoritarianism. Indeed, I feel sometimes as though one could represent me as a tug-of-war between Individuality/Rebellion and Authority.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 10:20 pm (UTC)See, even though I'm practicing Feri, and very much enjoy Feri, I do feel the need to completely tailor my own spiritual system. I'm read that this is something a lot of Feris feel, and this is why so many go on to form their own traditions and sub-traditions of Feri. Many Feris also hold dual membership with Feri and another spiritual tradition, usually Voudon, Wicca, Thelema, or Reclaiming (which, in itself, is actually an off-shoot of Feri).
As regards tossing things out, well, if you ask most Feris what their practice consists of, you'll get wildly different answers from each, some so different that you really have to question when it stops being Feri and starts being something else. The commonalities usually lie in the concepts of the Three Souls and Black Heart of Innocence, and use of the common Feri tools, such as the Iron and Pearl Pentacles, Kala, and The Ha Prayer (usually in conjuction with The Flower Prayer).
Victor used to teach different lore to different people. So I see the *lore* as tossable, whereas the core practice is somewhat more immutable.
~Morgan
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 10:49 pm (UTC)I've actually struggled with this same issue my whole life. It's rather annoying when your in one of those insomnia rules all nights weighing each side of the argument back and forth until your feel your head might explode, kind of moods.
Malan
Date: 2006-07-13 09:24 pm (UTC)Yay Runway - I'm such a fan...
Re: Malan
Date: 2006-07-13 09:45 pm (UTC)Yes. I liked her.
Re: Malan
Date: 2006-07-13 10:13 pm (UTC)Re: Malan
Date: 2006-07-13 10:19 pm (UTC)Runway has become my favorite show over the last few years. It's just good tv LOL
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 09:38 pm (UTC)I'm not sure which is freakier, the chicken or the frog.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 10:12 pm (UTC)Holy Crap, that rocks!! Don't fear, the hard copy version is still on my proverbial wish list. If I wasn't freaking broke-broke-shattered in a million pieces-broke, I would have definitely snagged the one on the auctions recently.
...I continue to practice and identify as Wiccan, but I also continue the search for some branch of neopaganism with which I am much more compatible.
As I've said, I know I don't qualify as an informed opinion on these matters, but is there a reason you have not just struck out on your own to "create" your own branch of neo-paganism? I dare say that you are not a spiritually timid person and have less difficulty than most when adopting a non-conventional lifestyle. I know you have your hands full (and Spooky's hands full, and anyone else who happens to want to donate a hand or seven), but have you considered chucking all this debate over finding a exterior organization and just doing what "feels" best in the matters of your spirituality?
no subject
Date: 2006-07-13 10:20 pm (UTC)See my response to Morgan above.
act3
Date: 2006-07-14 12:32 am (UTC)And as Morgan said about taking on different influences in feri and making it your own, is about purpose (what you want out of your "spirituality"), the same when your writing ritual, (to ty in with the first part of the entry). If there's a clear purpose that everybody is working for the loser the ritual can be constructed but paradoxically, if you construct a ritual where the participants get more freedom to "put in there own personal work" a more rigid structure is needed to make it work.
no subject
Date: 2006-07-14 12:41 am (UTC)When is the trip to RI? I'm hoping for that Boston-area signing. Which reminds me that I'm supposed to arrange a signing at Pandemonium in Cambridge (MA) for The Best of Not One of Us.
more on act 3
Date: 2006-07-14 01:01 am (UTC)I have a reluctance regarding tossing things out, even when it's plainly obvious, as is the case with both Wicca and Feri, that a "tradition" is a recent invention. It's a hard thing to explain, why I feel this way, but it has something to do with the desire for an integral whole. If the inclusion of any one thing is arbitrary, if it may be discarded because I don't happen to like it, then everything seems, to me, equally disposable.
no advice, no sermons. merely, your words make me recall exactly why i identify myself (on the good days) as an atheist and an existentialist (of the sartrean tradition). raised methodist and a practicing wiccan for 2-ish years, i finally had to admit to myself that if i couldn't believe something 100%, then i couldn't believe it at all. much of my personal frustration with organised religion comes from the "pick and choose" mentality and my own conviction that one's beliefs should have a bit of a "follow-through" element (something i also like to call the "pork chops as pets" argument, though that applies only to ethics in general, not spirituality in particular). as in, if you adhere to one belief in one situation (i.e., pets/animals are people, too) then that belief should have continuity to other matters of life (ergo, i shouldn't eat pork chops). a better example was painted on the back of a canvas a roommate of mine once had: "real pro-lifers don't eat meat".
to live otherwise would, in the words of sartre, be an act of bad faith.
so, um, yes. vee beeleev in NOTHING, Lebowski....