Caitlín R. Kiernan

Yesterday was not a good writing day. It took me all afternoon to produce a measly 716 words on "Pickman's Other Model." The constant need to fact check (everything from the movie industry in 1920's Fort Lee, New Jersey to the geography of the Massachusetts North Shore) didn't help, and there was one paragraph I spent almost an hour on — writing it, rewriting it, re-rewriting it, trying to get the wording just right. The voice of this story does not bear much resemblance to the peculiar use of first-person narrative that Lovecraft employed in "Pickman's Model." It's far more reserved, as the character of Eliot, as i am choosing to write him, is quite a different person than was Thurber (the narrator of HPL's story). One neat thing, yesterday I discovered an unexpected overlap between Low Red Moon and "Pickman's Other Model," and, as it turns out, this story will provide a bit more history to Narcissa Snow's family. Anyway, hopefully today will go better. Truthfully, I should not have attempted such an ambitious short story when I have so many deadlines pressing in on me, but, damn it, this is what I want to be writing. Also, my thanks to derekcfpegritz for pointing me to a better e-text of "Pickman's Model" (at Wikisource).

So many things in my head this morning, I'm bound to forget something.

Yesterday, after the writing, UPS dropped (literally) a 45 lb. box of Tales of Pain and Wonder and Tails of Tales of Pain and Wonder onto our front porch. And now I have seen the 3rd edition of the collection, and it is beautiful, and I am extremely grateful to Bill Schafer at subpress for giving me another chance to get this book right. In particular, Richard A. Kirk's artwork is reproduced beautifully. It's just a gorgeous book, and if you haven't already ordered, I urge you to do so now, because soon it will be sold out once again, and, if you wish to own it, you'll have to resort to paying exorbitant eBay prices to people who are not me.

And I was extremely pleased that Christian Siriano won Project Runway 4. I just had to say that, because I am a fashion nerd (thank you, Diana Eng).

No walk yesterday, because I just wasn't up to the chilly wind. It's much warmer today, I'm glad to say.

I'm considering (and I know this is a strange idea, bear with me) of establishing an rp group on Second Life to try rping through certain scenarios before I write them as vignettes or stories for Sirenia Digest. I'd probably call it "The Sirenia Players" (how could I not), and it would be a small group, no more than ten people, I think. Part of the great, untapped potential of SL is all the ways it can aid authors, and this would be another way of taking advantage of what it has to offer. To date, I have derived a number of pieces for the digest from SL rps, including "The Steam Dancer," Scene in the Museum (1896)," and "In the Dreamtime of Lady Resurrection". Anyway, speak up here or via email — greygirlbeast(at)gmail(dot)com — if you might be interested, and I'll keep you posted.

Also, you can now "See the Alternate Ending for I Am Legend That Was Too Satisfying for Test Audiences," courtesy New York Entertainment (my thanks to chris_walsh for pointing me to this). It's still not the right ending, but is an ending that follows logically and emotionally from the rest of the film, doesn't reinforce the myth that the military can save us from a doomsday of our own devising, and it is far, far preferable to what was shown in theatres. Of course, if you have not yet seen the film and want to, it's probably best not to watch this ending, as it is undeniably spoilerish. If only the practice of employing "test audiences" to aim films at the lowest common denominator (which is to say, the average audience) would go the way of the non-avian theropods...

A paragraph I wrote in this journal on this day three years ago, and I think it bears reposting:

Something I've harped on a million times, but I'm gonna harp on it again, because it came up yesterday, and it's important. My books, though they might be scarce in many American bookshops and absent in most foreign bookshops, are equally available to everyone who is in possession of a credit card (with credit) [or PayPal account] and an internet connection. Everything I've done that is in print is available from Amazon, B&N.com, booksamillion, subterraneanpress.com, my eBay auctions, and at least dozens of other places. Poppy says that every time someone says to an author, "I can't find your books," the Baby Jesus cries. Damn straight. So, don't say it. It's not true. Bookselling has changed a great deal in the last ten years, and book buying must change as well, or many authors, those of us who don't get mountains of publicity from publishers (and that means most of us), who have publishers who don't pay the chain stores to stock heaps of our latest title right up front, will most certainly perish. It might not have all the romance of the old days, browsing the shelves of a dusty Mom & Pop store, but it's easier, reliable, cheap, and almost everyone, everywhere, can do it. No, really. My books are not hard to find. Not even in Peru, Thailand, and New Zealand. All you have to do is look.

To wit, here are some specific links:

Daughter of Hounds

Silk

Threshold

Low Red Moon

Tales of Pain and Wonder

As for yesterday, I got all the signature sheets for Subterranean: Tales of Dark Fantasy signed, and they'll go back in the mail on Monday. I got news that Tales of Pain and Wonder is back from the printer, and I should have my copies next week. Also, two stories that first appeared in Sirenia Digest are being reprinted in Trisha Telep's The Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance — "Ode to Edvard Munch" and "Untitled 12." I received my itinerary for the O'Neil Literary House appearance on March 21-22, and I cannot recall whether or not I have mentioned that S.T. Joshi will be there, as well.

Today, I need to start something new for Sirenia Digest #28. I know that the issue will include a longer piece based on the Russian Snegurochka fairy tale (thank you, Sonya!), but I'm still doing research on it and am not ready to begin writing. First, I'll write something shorter. Anyway, yeah, today I go word hunting. Oh, and don't forget, eBay auctions end tomorrow, and this is the only copy of the Japanese translation of the Beowulf novelization I will be offering, and it comes with a free copy of the UK edition. As yet, it has no bid, which rather surprises me.

A great Torchwood last night, and, though I will not commit spoilage, wow, I didn't see that coming.

As I said, I've been spending less time in Second Life, up until the last day or so. And last night, Sissy (scarletboi) and Kat (memkhet) finally made the leap into the metaverse, and we were up until some perfectly ungodly hour, the two of them meeting the Professor's daughter, Elenore Darwin, in New Babbage. But it was enormous fun, even if Elenore is no more than the beginning of something Very Bad. There was more, but I shall not geek on about Second Life for the next ten minutes.

Right. Coffee. Check. Platypus. Check. Engage...

Generally speaking, when seen from space, the earth is a blue planet. Not a green planet. I was thinking this some indeterminable number of weeks ago, after a barrage of "green" television commercials — everything from "green" house cleansers to "green" automobiles to "green" oil companies. Whatever genuine meaning the word might have ever held for environmentalists, it has now been co-opted and lost to doublespeak and marketing/PR strategists. However, since this world is actually a blue world, and not a green world, the only damage that has been done is that a lot of gullible (if, perhaps, well meaning) people have been suckered into believing that they're doing good when they're only adding more crap to the landfills and more greenhouse gases to the atmosphere.

Yesterday, I did 1,132 words on the story that will not be called "Untitled 33," and came rather unexpectedly upon the ending. It's a vignette, which was, after all, the original purpose of Sirenia Digest. I only partly suspected I'd found the ending, but then Spooky read it aloud, and she said, "That's the end." So, there you go. I went ahead and sent it to Vince Locke to be illustrated. Today, I will try to find a second vignette for #27. Oh, and I've had several people email or comment that they don't mind if the digest is a little late, to which I reply, thank you, it's a kind and generous and appreciated sentiment, but just because my brain has decided to start having these stupid little electrical storms, it doesn't mean I'm going to start slacking off.

Yesterday, sovay asked for photos of the Japanese edition of the Beowulf novelization, and I meant to take some photos, but never got around to it. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow. I'm thinking of adding one copy of the Japanese edition to the eBay auctions. Also, if you intend to pre-order the 3rd edition of Tales of Pain and Wonder, which comes with the FREE Tails of Tales of Pain and Wonder chapbook, perhaps you should do so before much longer, as I am told it will likely sell out soon.

Spooky made a marvelous Indian dinner last night — a brown curry with potatoes, carrots, and beef, along with nan and samosas. Later, Byron came by for Torchwood, and afterwards we talked for a while. It was the first time we'd seen him in a couple of weeks.

I take it as some bit of evidence that I have begun to heal from the idiocies of 2005 that I'm actually interested in the Oscar telecast this year. I've always been sort of an Oscar nerd, then in 2006, I just didn't care. In 2007, I simply forgot to watch, which had never happened before. But this year, I'm actually somewhat excited. It probably helps that there are so many good movies nominated, and that I've seen a fair number of them. Anyway, later today I'll do my obligatory Oscar post, my list of who I think ought to win.

Not really much to say, except that I am less sick than I was yesterday, though not quite well. UPS just tossed a box onto the front porch, and it turned out to be my copies of Tails of Tales of Pain and Wonder (the 56-page chapbook that comes free with Tales of Pain and Wonder). Bill Schafer at subpress has given me permission to auction one of these chapbooks, before the collection is released, and I likely will. Oh, there are also copies of the ARC of Tales of Pain and Wonder in the box.

There is work to be done to day, months of work piled high, if I can find the...whatever.

Last night, we watched Neil Jordan's The Brave One, which was really much, much better than I'd expected it to be. Neil Jordan is one of my favorite directors, and I adore Jodie Foster, but the trailer for this film just gave off big sticky vibes of mediocrity. So I was pleased that it's better than mediocre. Not great, no, and certainly not anywhere near what Jordan is capable of, but it is a good movie. It could have all gone movie-of-the-week bland in the wrong hands, or it could have been crippled by a predicatable pat ending, but The Brave One avoids both fates. My only real criticism is that Erica Baine's fiancé really should have been a woman, if only because Foster is harder than ever to buy as a straight woman. Terrence Howard was a wonderful choice for Detective Mercer, and he and Foster have a chemistry. So, yeah, a nice surprise. Maybe it's time to go on a Neil Jordan binge...

My thanks to stsisyphus, for managing to make me smile yesterday, by doing the lolcat thing with the photo of Hubero on the altar. There are two versions, both behind the cut. The second is my favourite.

( witch's kitteh )

Another very excellent day off yesterday, and I hardly ever get two very excellent days off in a row. Today it is back to the word mines, but at least I am rested. More than eight hours sleep again last night, so I'm feeling considerably less zombiefied. The warm weather helped (60sF), though it turned rather blustery yesterday, and then we had rain last night.

As for yesterday, first I spent three and a half hours editing a Dune: Apocalypse roleplay transcript from Monday night. I know that doesn't sound like the sort of thing that a writer would do on her day off, but I find editing rp transcripts oddly relaxing in their need for precision and patience. And this was just such a great scene. You can read the transcript here. Anyway, when that was done, I got dressed and we finally made it over to the Fernbank Museum of Natural History. I think we got there about 4 p.m. (CaST). I've been reading the description of a new species of Carcharodontosaurus (C. iguidensis) in the new Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology, and there were some features on the Gigonotosaurus mount I wanted to see again up close (Gigonotosaurus is a close relative of Carcharodontosaurus, both part of a radiation of giant allosauroids during the Cretaceous Period). The staff was setting up for a banquet or some such, which always seems to be the case when I visit, and it hampered my access to the skeletons just a little, but not so much to have made the trip a waste. Afterwards, we just sort of wandered about the museum, visiting "old friends." There are photos behind the cut:

( Fernbank stuff )

After the museum, we got noodle bowls at our favourite Thai restaurant. Later still, we watched two more episodes from Season One of Angel ("Under Your Skin" and "Prodigal"), and then I did a little light rp on Arrakis, but nothing to match Monday night. I was actually off SL before one a.m., and in bed before two a.m. Small miracles.

Please have a look at the current eBay auctions. I really do have to find some alternative to eBay for selling my comp/PC copies, as they've just announced another hike in the cut they take, and it has become unacceptable. No, etsy won't work, as it does not permit auctions. And now I remember there was actually a little bit of work yesterday, as I had to approve the final cover layout for Tales of Pain and Wonder, and send a updated biography for the back cover flap.

Anyway. The platypus says shut up and get to work, so, here we go again...

First things at the beginning, right? Yesterday I wrote 1,236 words and, I think, made a very good start to Chapter Two of Joey Lafaye. And that is a huge relief, just having the novel moving forward again. Spooky loved the pages, and I have to take that as a good sign. As soon as Chapter Two is finished, I'll be sending the first part of the ms. to some of my "first readers," including my lit agent, to get their thoughts.

Also, I have been told that I can announce I will be a Guest of Honor at the 2009 H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland, Oregon (first weekend of that October), which is one of the coolest things I have ever been asked to do. Details TBA, but this is very far in the future, so don't expect them too soon.

Thanks to those who have bid in the latest round of eBay auctions. Right now, we have copies of the trade hardbacks of To Charles Fort, With Love, Alabaster, and Frog Toes and Tentacles up, and yes, all these collections are long sold out. Please have a look. I will note that I am holding back on offering the last two paisley platypuses, as eBay sales have been a bit sluggish of late. Also, if you haven't already preordered Tales of Pain and Wonder, today would be a fine day to do so.

Anyway, we actually managed to get up and out of the house in time to make the 1 p.m. matinée of Cloverfield, and my thoughts are behind the cut, as they do contain spoilers:

( Cloverfield )

So, here I am at 4:42 p.m. (CaST), trying to fight back a migraine that I woke with so that I can attend to the final-pass page proofs for Tales of Pain and Wonder. Right now, my money's on the headache.

As some of you may have already noticed, if you've been hanging about the Subterranean Press website, the 3rd edition of Tales of Pain and Wonder has received a starred review in Publisher's Weekly. This is a Good Thing, naturally, and I am pleased, and my agent is pleased, and Bill Schafer is pleased. If you've been straddling the fence on whether or not to order the collection, possibly this review will sway you to preorder today:

"Tales of Pain and Wonder
CAITLÍN R. KIERNAN. Subterranean, $35 (345p) ISBN 978-1-59606-144-6
Each story in this "definitive" third edition of Kiernan's loosely linked collection stands alone as a visceral slice of life. While "Anamorphosis" and "To This Water" rely on the overdone menaces of pedophilia and rape, "Bela's Plot" establishes a delicate balance between the romance of decay and deliberately undercutting characters' gothic pretensions. "Glass Coffin," "Salammbô," "Salmagundi," "...Between the Gargoyle Trees" and the previously unpublished "Salammbô Redux" relate the history of sisters Salmagundi and Salammbô Desvernine and their disturbed and disturbing extended family. "Paedomorphosis" and "Rats Live on No Evil Star" approach closest to classic horror, driven by revulsion and fear of the alien, while in "Estate," a human terrorizes a supernatural creature, and "San Andreas" relies on pure human nature for its shuddery effect. Together, the impact of these stories is stunning: glancing collisions between psychics, runaways, junkies, artists and whores (who, as in Kiernan's Silk, function as a loose alternative to a family) add up to a portrait of something broken and beautiful. (Mar.)"

I love that line..."something broken and beautiful." That's really all I have ever been trying to say, in my fiction. Something broken and beautiful. Oh, and I do agree that dark fiction relies too heavily on the "overdone menaces of pedophilia and rape," but hey, I'm cutting myself some slack, as I wrote those stories way back in 1994, almost fourteen years ago.

---

The "space balloon" dream returned night before last, or, more accurately, yesterday morning. Not this morning, though. Anyway, as I did not make a proper journal entry yesterday, many of the details have been forgotten. I was lying in the upper berth again, and the orange man was talking. I do recall that he said, "Nothing like what they think," more than once, and that, later, I was standing in the corridor, watching the glittering Indian Ocean far below, and someone standing near me was talking about Stalin, the Politburo, and the "Great Purge." There was more, but I didn't write it down, and it now seems lost to me, which is probably for the best.

---

There have been some movies. Saturday night, Byron came by, and after dinner at the Vortex at L5P, the three of us watched Jeff Broadstreet's Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006). Of course, we watched it in 2D, as it was the DVD, and that's fine, cause I think 3D is a dumb gimmick, and given that I have only one functioinal eye, I can't see it, anyway. Sort of fun, in a campy sort of way. But I suspect had it not been for Sid Haig as a shovel-weilding mortician, I might not have found anything much to redeem it.

Last night, we watched the entirety of Greg Yaitanes' adaptation of Children of Dune (2003) mini-series, which originally aired on the SF Channel and is actually an adaptation of both Herbert's Dune Messiah and Children of Dune. I was very pleasantly surprised. Despite various departures from the novels and uneven SFX, I found the film thoroughly enjoyable and true to the feel and spirit of the novels, which is far more than can be said for the Lynch adaptation of Dune (1984) — and I say that as an admirer of pretty much everything else Lynch has ever done. Children of Dune benefited from a couple of excellent casting decisions, most notably Alice Krige as Jessica Atreides and Daniela Amavia as Alia.

---

I think that's about it for now. I'll toss in some Second Life stuff tomorrow, maybe some more screencaps (since those seem to have been a hit), maybe links to some of the transcripts from our Dune roleplay. The latter seems most relevant, as I did have a hand in writing them. But right now, I must find coffee.

Oh. and thanks to the lomer, who wrote, regarding JediMa Katscher's homophobia, "You should warn the homophobes, 'every time you make a homophobic comment: a straight girl goes bi.'" Oh, indeed. Though, "...a straight girl goes lesbian" might carry more threat.

My thanks to jacobluest for the marvelous subject line.

Yesterday, I wrote 945 words and finished "The Crimson Alphabet." It closed with "W is for White Noise," "X is for Xenotropic," "Y is for Yuki-onna," and "Z is for Zipper." And I am pleased. Part Two will, of course, be included in Sirenia Digest #26 later this month.

Not much else to yesterday that's worth posting here. I did not leave the house. Spooky made an unexpectedly wonderful dinner of spinach and red bell-pepper quiche with chicken sausage on the side (spiced with garlic and more red pepper). The weather warmed up into the high '60s.

This morning a dream that seemed a continuation of the dream from yesterday morning, and I really, truly do hope I'm not entering another round of the sorts of recurring nightmares that led to my writing "A Season of Broken Dolls" and "In View of Nothing." I don't know that I'm up for that sort of dual life right now, mentally or physically. Anyway, for what it's worth, there was a great deal more wandering about on that "space balloon" vessel. I saw Africa through the porthole again. There were catwalks, like in a dirigible. The air was intensely cold and dry, and my lips were so chapped they bled. At one point, I was in a rather vast sort of cargo bay, hiding behind a wall of plastic crates, listening to a conversation I could not clearly make out. And later, I was in my compartment, dressing the orange man's gunshot wound. Blood up to my wrists, white gauze and surgical tape (but no scissors, and I "cut" it with my teeth), no exit wound. He'd apparently passed out and was motionless and did not talk as I worked. Later still, I was sitting in something like a dining car/lounge, smoking and drinking coffee, and trying to look inconspicuous in my huge fur coat.

For we're living in a safety zone.
Don't be holding back from me.
We're living from hour to hour down here,
And we'll take it when we can.
It's a kind of living which recognizes,
The death of the odourless man.
When nothing is vanity, nothing's too slow.
It's not Eden, but it's no sham.

(David Bowie, "The Motel")

Oh, Spooky listed more eBay items last night. Please have a look.

Today, I need to go Outside (yes, Outside!), and find a day-planner for 2008, as Green Tiger Press, makers of the splendid "Magic Spectacles" day-planners I've used the last four years have not released one for 2008. My doctor's appointment was put off until Friday. I'll spend part of the day on the corrections for the 3rd edition of Tales of Pain and Wonder, answering questions for sovay, who kindly consented to proof that monster of a ms. for me. I'd simply read it too many times to trust my eyes.

Okay. Coffee, proof of the reality of evolutionary exaptation.

Ugh. Spooky's working on the coffee, but I fear it may arrive too late.

Most of yesterday was spent trying to put together a cover for Tails of Tales of Pain and Wonder that I was happy with. I finally did it, much in the collage style of The Little Damned Book of Days. Today, though, I need to begin Chapter Two of Joey Lafaye.

If I can ever wake up. I wish I were half as awake now as I was at 3 ayem this morning.

Several new items added to the latest eBay auctions, including copies of Alabaster, To Charles Fort, With Love, and the "Mercury" chapbook. All are now out of print. Most of the proceeds from these auctions will go towards my sudden flurry of medical and dental bills, so thank you kindly.

Last night, Spooky and I watched John Carpenter's Starman (1984), which I liked almost as much as I remember liking it in theatres. A little dated around the edges, but still a touching film with some glorious high points. Most importantly, Jeff Bridges' performance still rings true, and I love seeing sf films made (and set) before the advent of laptops, cellphones, iPods, and PDAs. Then we watched Project Runway, of course. Season Four is proving quite a bit better than Season 3, in that they've backed off all the annoying soap-opera dramatics, so that the show is once again more focused on design. But still not as good as the first two seasons.

---

A message that came to me courtesy a reader at MySpace:

Ten years ago I read an interview with you, in a magazine that escapes my memory right now (it was black and white or a purplish and white print and had a picture of you under an umbrella at Bela Lugosi's grave-- I wish I still had the copy), and was completely captivated. I knew someone who worked at a bookstore and immediately placed my order for Silk (the interview discussed the book and I knew I had to have it). I received the book immediately when it was released and it absolutely changed my life.

I never thought I would ever be able to personally tell you that but I just wanted to thank you for Silk. My copy is quite worn from being read repeatedly but I cherish it so so much. You are an amazing writer.

PS- I even still have a Death's Little Sister sticker :)

Wow. This is the sort of thing that always throws me for a loop. I mean, it just sort of freaks me out, adding up the goddamn years. I was only 34 when Silk was released, and looking at this reader's MySpace page, I see she was only about 14 or 15. So, yeah, wow. The magazine in question was the late, lamented Carpe Noctem, by the way, and that was one of my first interviews. If this reader will please send me her snail-mail address, I'd be happy to send her a signed copy of the 4th edition mmp of Silk, just for making me smile. At any rate, you're quite welcome.

---

I'm wondering how Sirenia Digest subscribers would feel about a follow-up to The Black Alphabet, which I believe I would call The Crimson Alphabet. It would begin in #25 (December '07) and conclude in #26 (January '08). I enjoyed doing The Black Alphabet last year, and I'd sort of like to have another go at it. Let me know your thoughts.

I should go. I'm halfway through this cup of coffee and still not awake. Where's that damned platypus!

Yeah, so, today I have to go to Alabama. The only bright side upon which to look is that at least I'm not going to Mississippi. And that's not much consolation at all. I haven't left the Perimeter and my little blue island of Atlanta since that ill-advised trip to Athens back in...was that April? I think so. But I have to go to the doctor, and in 2002, my doctor talked me into not finding a doctor in Atlanta (in all fairness, she's been my doctor since 1990), and my dentist is the only one I've ever been able to stand, so I am, today, going west to Birmingham. Pain or no pain, sleep or no sleep, I am inches from calling off this whole escapade. Because even if we're lucky and survive the gauntlet of Jesus billboards and "God Hates Fags" bumperstickers, and navigate the Great NASCAR Blackhole that has consumed Talladega, and even if we manage to slip undetected past the cannibal hillbillies who run all the convenience stores...even then, we'll still be in Birmingham. It's like surviving any number of deadly deeds for the pleasure of being ass raped with a shattered Budweiser bottle. But, yes, I exaggerate. It's really only like surviving to be ass raped with a particularly bumpy sweet potato.

Yesterday was the worst sort of day off. I was too exhausted to do much but lie in bed and doze while Spooky tried to read me several more chapters of Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. I don't think I actually managed to wake up until sometime around dusk, when Byron showed up to clean the tower of Spooky's PC (a sentence that would have made only a little sense in 1980). Sometime after he left, we watched Chris Noonan's Miss Potter (2006), even though, as a rule, I don't care for Renée Zellweger. That film was the only good part of yesterday. Forever, I shall only remember December 3rd, 2007 as the day I saw Miss Potter, if I remember it at all. Wait, there was one other good thing. I also read the article on dinosaurs that John Updike wrote for the new National Geographic, which touches upon a number of fabulous ornithischian and saurischian taxa, including Amargasaurus, Carnotaurus, Parasaurolophus, Masiakasaurus, Spinosaurus, Tuojiangosaurus, Deinocheirus, Nigersaurus, Dracorex, Epidendrosaurus,and Styracosaurus. I love this quote from palaeontologist Hans-Dieter Sues: In evolution nothing is really bizarre.

But, Tails of Tales of Pain and Wonder is finished. There was a last big push on Sunday, an ugly, great mound of editing, and then it was sent away to subpress, and you will get a copy FREE, should you happen to order the 3rd edition of Tales of Pain and Wonder.

I suppose I should wind this up. Maybe a cup of coffee will steel my nerves against the horrors of this journey. But I doubt it.