"The carousel begins to slow. I take my chances."

[greygirlbeast]

A rare alignment of cranial discomfort. Parallel lines of eye-bleeding hurt. I'm not sure Spooky and I have ever before had multi-day headaches at the same time. But we have now. And it sucks rancid weasel ass through a crazy straw, and it needs to fucking stop. My scalp feels like there's broken glass just beneath the skin.

This is a day on which there must be comments. I won't survive without them.

My thanks to Joah, who sent me a link to someone's list of "The Six Creepiest Abandoned Places." I'd argue the list isn't definitive, but it's still a pretty good list. I'm especially taken with Gunkanjima, Japan and Hellingly Asylum. The latter is genuinely exquisite. I would live there in a heartbeat:

On the sheets and pillow case,
In my bed for heaven's sake,
The devil's dancing until late in my head there.
But I could sleep with you there.
I could sleep with you there.

That's interesting. Firstly, that while thinking of Hellingly Asylum the lyrics to a Catharine Wheel song occurred to me. Secondly, that they apply so aptly to last night's insomnia (which was Nigh Unto Monumental, no sleep until after six ayem) and also apply to my emotional reaction to the photographs (follow the link from the article) of that place. Rabbit hole. Subconscious association. Pink Freud. 5 and 1/2 minute hallways. It's all the same thing in here. Anyway, I loved this bit from the article (about another asylum, one in New Jersey):

Listen, because this is important advice: If you ever start a sanatorium, you need to tear that shit down once you’re done with it. Not repurpose it or leave it empty or something; that is just begging – literally begging – for a group of stupid teenagers to sneak inside of it to have illicit sex, where they will inevitably get murdered by the ghosts of madmen. It’s like a Roach Motel for horny morons. You may as well put an “Idiots Fuck Here” sign out front and start up a mortuary next door; you’d make a killing.

See, I don't get to genuinely laugh – that sort of laughter that makes you hurt yourself – that often. That paragraph made me laugh. Oh, in particular, I was soothed by this photo from Hellingly. I'm not bullshitting you. I'm not being sarcastic. That's just...soothing. I think I look like that inside. If you cracked me open, you'd find that room.

---

On this day in 1900, Aleister Crowley broke into and took over the Golden Dawn temple in London, providing the catalyst for the demise of the original Golden Dawn.

---

Yesterday, despite the black mood and the headache, I wrote 1,072 words on "Fake Plastic Trees" while Spooky drew ravens. The story seems to be coming together. After reading yesterday's pages, Spooky said, "This makes me feel so bad. Really, really bad. The complete wrongness of it, of that whole world." I'm taking this as a compliment, because I know she meant it as one.

Intention isn't everything, kittens, but it carries a lot of weight with me.

After working on the story, I wrote an actual Wikipedia entry on Hauffiosaurus, because when I linked to it yesterday there was just a sad-ass, one-sentence stub. That took about another hour.

We saw the latest episode of Fringe last night. Jesus fuck, this show is brilliant. It's gone from a dull first season, all monster-of-the-week nonsense, to sheer fucking wonky universe-warping brilliance. Last night's episode, "Lysergic Acid Diethylamide," has to receive an Emmy nomination. If the Emmy's mean anything (and we already know they don't). This is the first series since Farscape that truly isn't afraid of being as weird as it needs to be, but which isn't just being weird for weird's sake. Pushing Daisies tried to be this brilliant, but was murdered long before it achieved this level of supremely masterful weirdness.

Spooky's doing the tax thing today. Taxes, taxes, we all fall down.

Gods, I just realized I've been wearing the same T-shirt for four days. "Reynolds/Washburne 2008: You Can't Stop the Signal." Dirty fucking nerd. Take a bath and change your damn clothes.

Oh, hello. How long have you been standing there?

You know, for kids,
Aunt Beast

Comments

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

I know that you feel chained to your desk and that you and Spooky both are plagued with maladies that prevent the creative beauty inside of you, but you are both so inspiring.

Trust me (fellow migraine sufferer) when the glass on the underside of the scalp dances and you still work through what you have to do -- you are the victor. Slightly more insane, yes. But victorious with a capital V. But I've become convinced this year that we all are, truly. Normal is a bitter pill that we rail against.

I fucking hate taxes.

Love the abandoned places link. Thanks for passing it along.

[sovay]

Oh, in particular, I was soothed by this photo from Hellingly.

I can't remember if I told you about this at the time, but if you have not seen Stephen Wilkes' Ellis Island: Ghosts of Freedom, I recommend finding a copy posthaste. There was an exhibition about three years ago at the Griffin Museum in Winchester; they were some of the most haunting photographs of buildings I'd seen. The excerpt gallery online is small, but worth it.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Normal is a bitter pill that we rail against.

That's a very good sentence.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I can't remember if I told you about this at the time

No, you didn't. Wow. Beautiful. Thanks.

I hope you're feeling better.

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

That list of abandoned places reminds me of a short 16 mm documentary film I once made on Rye Playland in the off-season: all blowing leaves, dripping raindrops, and empty buildings. The soundtrack was a series of interviews I'd done with people about their fears related to loneliness and dying, with a soft underscoring of Pink Floyd. I wonder what ever happened to it?

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Normal is a bitter pill that we rail against.

That's a very good sentence.

It could almost be a...which band's lyric? The Smiths? The Decemberists?

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

all blowing leaves, dripping raindrops, and empty buildings. The soundtrack was a series of interviews I'd done with people about their fears related to loneliness and dying, with a soft underscoring of Pink Floyd.

That sounds very, very cool.

[pisceanblue.livejournal.com]

I found the commentary for that article to be hilarious becuase it seemed so much more appropriate than a sort of somber acknowledgment.

Fringe has been so audacious this season (and last) that I hope the production team is allowed to be as weird as they like for as long as necessary. Because we need it.

My cranium offers its sympathies, as I recently emerged from a multi-day migraine in which I began to theorize multi-dimensional entities were torturing me for purposes unknown.

[sovay]

Wow. Beautiful.

The photographs in person are huge, the size of windows. Moving through the exhibit was like walking a maze of spirit photography.

I hope you're feeling better.

I am, actually; kind of aftermath-hammered, but better. Thank you. I hope the same for you soon.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

The photographs in person are huge, the size of windows. Moving through the exhibit was like walking a maze of spirit photography.

I quickly looked, but will go back latter when I don't ahve to write and my vision is less blurred.

I am, actually; kind of aftermath-hammered, but better.

Well, that's something.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

The Smiths? The Decemberists?

I'd say the Decemberists.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I found the commentary for that article to be hilarious becuase it seemed so much more appropriate than a sort of somber acknowledgment.

Agreed.

Fringe has been so audacious this season (and last) that I hope the production team is allowed to be as weird as they like for as long as necessary. Because we need it.

It has at least one more season, thank fuck.

[xjenavivex.livejournal.com]

Centralia always gets me to thinking about story potential. Thank you for sharing the links. I hope your headaches disappear today and the aftermath odd sensation does not linger.

I love that you wrote that Wikipedia article.

Oh and the dirty nerd comment, well it was just hot.

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

If it is, I did it unconsciously.

[vrykolakes.livejournal.com]

"You may as well put an “'Idiots Fuck Here'” sign out front and start up a mortuary next door; you’d make a killing."

Considering what came before, I find that sentence rather...punny.

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Now if I could only string many of them together worth of a publishable novel.

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

"....in which I began to theorize multi-dimensional entities were torturing me..."

I can so relate.

So many migraine sufferers on one page.

But it couldn't be like environmental poisoning or anything.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

Centralia always gets me to thinking about story potential.

"A terrible beauty is born."

I love that you wrote that Wikipedia article.

I've written lots of them.

Oh and the dirty nerd comment, well it was just hot.

Big brains are sexy. I get that. But dirty nerds?

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

I find that sentence rather...punny.

Oh, indeed.

[kurtmulgrew.livejournal.com]

I always tell my girlfriend I wish I had a place like the old abandoned broom factor the guy had in the second Blair Witch Project movie or some old ass church are something.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

the second Blair Witch Project movie

I never saw that movie. The whole thing with the "goth girl" sort of pissed me off.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

The correct response to 'you know, for kids' is of course to post a giant perfectly round circle with no explanation, but I do not have the coding chops to do that, so let's take it as said.

I hope the headaches you both have go away soonest.

[xjenavivex.livejournal.com]

Well creativity is also sexy. My husband often gets lost in his recording work for hours. We refer to it as a fugue. The idea of you being lost to what you are involved in is very sexy. Plus I will recycle a comfort shirt when I am really focused or needing that cozy feeling from a well-loved T.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

The correct response to 'you know, for kids' is of course to post a giant perfectly round circle with no explanation...

Oh, I'm so glad someone got that.

[greygirlbeast.livejournal.com]

We refer to it as a fugue.

My psychiatrist uses that word a lot, referring to my brain. Especially post-seizure.