"Oh, I had a dream I was dreaming."

[greygirlbeast]

The sun's shining in a too-blue sky, but it's chilly.

Sirenia Digest #64 went out to subscribers last night, and everyone should have it by now.

Apologies for not including a link for The Book Thief yesterday.

---

If there's any more abominable phrase than "online social networking," I'm unaware of it. It reduces the concepts of friendship and acquaintance to a software-enhanced array of dendritic fingers, desperately probing the void for connections, aggressively seeking to supplant (or act as surrogate to) actual, face-to-face contact between human beings.

Or maybe I'm the only one who sees it that way. Or at least, it may be I'm in the minority. To quote Anaïs Nin, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” (Thank you, E. Harrington.) Regardless, there's no place for me on either Facebook or Twitter, and I'm going to write that on a piece of paper in big black letters and tack it to the office wall. Because, apparently, I keep forgetting. I've no interest in "online social networking." I find it as strange and toxic as plastic soda bottles.

I began this journal to record the process of writing, what that process is like for me (which, of course, is not the way it will be for much of anyone else). And, obviously, to promote my work. Then MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter came along, and I allowed myself to be seduced into believing that these sites would be as useful to me as has been LiveJournal, and before that, Blogger. But they're not. I cut MySpace loose a long time ago. As for Twitter, it just seems...harmlessly ephemeral. Too much so to serve any actual purpose I need it to serve. And as for Facebook, I can't take the assholes who think I'm there to be engaged in what they mistake as witty reporté. Not since the Bad Old Days of Usenet have I had to contend with as much rudeness and idiocy on the net as I've had to contend with on Facebook. Yes, granted, the troublemakers are a small fraction of the people who follow me there. But it only takes one or two or three persistently asinine individuals.

Those people are not "my tribe." I had a tribe once, but that was long ago.

No one is entitled to anything, and we all suffer alone, and, if we are honest, we all suffer.

These are bad days and nights, and I'm not well enough to get the writing done that I have to get done, much less banter with people who actually seem to believe there's nobility of purpose in lolspeak.

I need to be writing, and I need to be Outside, and everything else is irrelevant. Or worse.

---

The greatest compliment I can ever pay a band or musician is to say, "This is my new suicide album." At the moment, my suicide album is Radiohead's The King of Limbs.

---

People say, "You're so unhappy," and they clearly mean it as an insult. Or they think my unhappiness is an affront to what they believe is their happiness.

Funny thing is, I actually hate coffee.

Adrift in the White Noise,
Aunt Beast

Comments

[carinthia072.livejournal.com]

In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about how you should feel. As writers, we're forced to put ourselves out there and be judged, for better or for worse, and it sucks. The only remedy is to remember yourself, and stay true to that.

[jdack.livejournal.com]

I'm finding I have almost no use for Twitter any more. I scroll and scroll and don't even read most of the crap on my feed. I actually cancelled my original 2007 account a few months back, but started a new one because of day job boredom. But I'd like to be rid of it. Between DW/LJ, Twitter, and Tumblr I feel like it's a damn chore just to share a link.

Unfortunately my work involves many long hours sitting at a desk waiting for some actual work to do, and often it never comes.

Stupid internet.

[bonnyread.livejournal.com]

Just commenting to say that I love your writing style even if it's just the informal journals. I've been reading your work and this blog for almost 10 years now, and your prose still sometimes catches me by surprise. This perfectly ordinary entry is beautifully written.

[whiskeychick.livejournal.com]

The FB follies pissed me right the hell off, too, yesterday.

Wishing you well so you can get done what you need to get done and go Outside.

Taxes tonight and then I get to read #64. My reward for doing what I have to do.

[ulffriend.livejournal.com]

I don't bother with twitter at all, and dragged myself onto Facebook only as a means of trying to keep in touch was a large family which once had a tight geographic center but has now become far-flung. I find them generally pointless: why do I really care what someone else is doing at every specific moment of their life? I have enough to do to manage what I'm doing, thanks very much.

And don't get me started on the gradual decay of the concept of "friend." A friend is a person, not a verb. Someone that I have never met, or who I haven't seen since middle school, is not my friend. I have always considered my friends to be valuable and few (I prefer "acquaintance" for most people I know) and am sickened by the way the word is being used.

In short, it ain't just you.

Re: your feelings...seems to me that they are your feelings. I have no idea why anyone (other than perhaps Spooky) would have any opinion about your feelings, or think that they have a right to. My only thought when I see that you've written that you're feeling poorly is to wish you well.

[martianmooncrab.livejournal.com]

I actually hate coffee.

Word. It tastes narsty.

[sovay]

I have no idea what's been happening on Facebook, but I'm glad I missed it.

Arcade Fire, "We Used to Wait"

I just heard this song for the first time on the car radio; I had no idea whose it was. I'm listening to it on repeat now.

[lois2037.livejournal.com]

Eh. People really do take it as a personal affront if someone seems unhappy. I've had people come up out of the blue and demand that I smile. WTF?? These folks are not generally smiling themselves after I have told them what I think of their opinion on how I should have my face arranged.

I believe that anything with the word "networking" attached to it is going to be abhorrent. FB can be interesting, but it is all public and all surface. My heart will always belong to Live Journal.

[ashlyme.livejournal.com]

Your unhappiness is your own business, and fuck anybody who considers it an affront.I'm speaking from my own experience here, but: we can't be tyrannized into happiness, just so we can fit into somebody else's norm.

As to Facebook versus here - it's nice that I can comment here, and I feel honoured (that might sound bombastic, or smarmy - I hope not) that you respond. That doesn't mean I can claim you as a friend, but there are respects that should be observed, that Facebook cannot guarantee. Common courtesy isn't common, sadly.

Waffle aside - Book Thief bought - will begin tomorrow.

[britmandelo.livejournal.com]

I hear you regarding Facebook. It's a filthy pit. I made one for two days and deleted it promptly. I can't tell you how much shit I catch for this as a university student. Apparently, I'm not allowed to dislike Facebook.

Twitter is an odd spot. I use it primarily to keep up with friends spread across the face of the earth, now, and a few favorite folks who post good news, etc. But you're so right - nothing can replace face-to-face meetings; conventions and occasional visits to those friends keep me alive, I think.

No one is entitled to anything, and we all suffer alone, and, if we are honest, we all suffer.

This struck me. Yes,absolutely.

[mizliz13.livejournal.com]

To quote Anaïs Nin, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” (Thank you, E. Harrington.)

You're most welcome, Aunt Beast.

[spank-an-elf.livejournal.com]

Coffee smells far better than it tastes.

[ephemerita.livejournal.com]

As someone who almost fetishises the technological, I'm beginning to think that you're right. It feels like an attack on the real.

I suffer Facebook but seem to be drifting away from it more and more. It feels like a blessed relief.