The serpent/loudspeaker is what mainly depresses me about that story. They needed someone to remind them to have opinions. God's like, "Don't go near my totally bitchin' magic mystery tree. For if you do, you might discover it's wondrous SECRET ..." and they're both like, "Oh, okay."

And the snake's all, "So, that's weird, huh?"

And they're both, "How is that weird? Holy shit, that monkey just fell on its butt! Ha ha ha ha ha! Wait, what were we talking about?"

And the snake's all, "Fuck it. That tree over there grows hamburgers."

And they were like, "Hamburgers?! SQUEE!"

I figure the garden of Eden was about as deep as a Kansas science classroom.