greygirlbeast: (stab)
CaitlĂ­n R. Kiernan ([personal profile] greygirlbeast) wrote2011-07-27 01:38 pm

"You're drinking the wrong dream now, baby."

Even though LiveJournal is experiencing the latest round of massive DDOS attacks from Russian hackers, I have at least limited access to my LJ, so I'm going to attempt an entry. Because that's what I do every day before I start working. Even if no one will be able to read it. I'm thinking about to moving to Typepad. I'd move to Dreamwidth, instead, but it's owners are bona-fide scumbags.

I honestly thought this would be the entry wherein I said something like, "Oh, I'm sorry the entries have been so angry and grim the last few days. I'm better now. Let's get back on track."

No.

That's not happening today. The shit-storm continues.

Yesterday, though, I did write 1,465 words, and so began Chapter 5 of Blood Oranges. It was the first time I'd been able to bring myself to work on the book since June 19th.

There is a reason for this, a reason why I wrote the entire first half of a novel in one month (something I'd never even thought possible for me), and then locked up for a month and was unable to go back to it. There is an explanation. But like many explanations, it's divulged at a risk. At the risk of pissing off people who are better left unpissed off.

Which leaves me wondering, why does no one in this great clusterfuck of a publishing industry care if the author gets pissed? It leaves me wondering that, though the answer is obvious. The author, in the eyes of Industry, of Business, is a disposable cog. One makes too much noise, causes too much trouble, there are at least a thousand waiting to take her job. Gods, I'm sounding like a Marxist. But it's the fucking truth. You want to be a professional author? One whose sole source of income is her writing? Fine, just don't think it's ever going to "make you your own boss." I'm as answerable to The Boss as any poor cubicle schmuck. Yes, I can walk away anytime I choose. But so can anyone, no matter their line of work. It only requires the resolve to live in a cardboard box on a street corner.

I'm with Parker, in The Way of the Gun. I think a plan is just a list of things that don't happen. Back in May, I had something I'd never had during my publishing career. I had a plan. A good plan. I allowed it to be reshuffled. And now...

No, it's not the end of the world. In fact, it's sort of a paper cut. But you know what happens if you get a few hundred paper cuts. See Forms of Torture in China, Pre-1905.

Maybe you'll be able to read this. Maybe you won't. Frank the Goat only knows.

Cut,
Aunt Beast

[identity profile] mizliz13.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
You and Spooky could become librarians. You're never too old to be a librarian. But then you'd have to go out into the meatworld five days a week, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's a bittersweet symphony, this life.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 02:21 am (UTC)(link)

Librarian sounds pretty damn good. I could be old.

[identity profile] stsisyphus.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 07:24 pm (UTC)(link)
...why does no one in this great clusterfuck of a publishing industry care if the author gets pissed? It leaves me wondering that, though the answer is obvious. The author, in the eyes of Industry, of Business, is a disposable cog.

Does the fast food industry care if the cow thought the bullpen needed a bit more sprucing up?

In any case...actually, no. I don't have anything reassuring here. I wish you could use the anger for finding the words, but I have a feeling that not being able to is part of what is fueling the anger.

Hoped the RP last night helped somewhat.

See Forms of Torture in China, Pre-1905.

Which just made me think of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEFHkqLfKiI).

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 02:28 am (UTC)(link)


Does the fast food industry care if the cow thought the bullpen needed a bit more sprucing up?

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 02:28 am (UTC)(link)


Does the fast food industry care if the cow thought the bullpen needed a bit more sprucing up?


Gods...yeah.

[identity profile] lee-in-limbo.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm here, reading. No idea if you'll receive this. Keep breathing. You don't need me to say that, but there it is. Support, of a kind. Breathe.

[identity profile] readingthedark.livejournal.com 2011-07-27 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm oft of the opinion that most owners are bona-fide scumbags. I have the correlation, but I'm not sure which causes which...either scumbags are created by the means of production, or the means of production is created by scumbags...

[identity profile] pattytempleton.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
Typepad is a decent platform. I use it for the blogging I do at a Chicagoland library. Drawbacks: it can be epically slow to sign in or switch from page to page. I've been using it for 2 years now, and sometimes it will be brilliant and no stalls for two weeks and then BAM annoy, annoy, annoy, STALL. Also, there can be shocking spacing issues if you try to use pictures. Sometimes your post titles will be inexplicably centered when you didn't mark them as such. Little things.

Its interface is just as or possibly friendlier than LJ.

Good luck.

[identity profile] lois2037.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
Of course the author's feelings don't matter. Or the artists', or the musicians', or the actors', or... In any part of the many facets of the "media" business, people and creativity are simply commodities which, while useful to the bottom line, are replaceable. It's a predatory business that seems to take delight in chewing folks up and spitting them out, while grabbing for more at the same time. I surely hope that things get better for you.

[identity profile] opalblack.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 02:28 am (UTC)(link)

I'm wondering if the stories I don't care about quite so much can be the stories that put the beans on the table. As soon as I care about a story, I seize up. I labour for days at every sentence. I polish and groom every word to perfection. Soon, it dies under the weight of my suffocating love.
When I care less, the stories run free. I never thought I had a cyberpunk word in me, and it turns out I have a whole history of the near future, and because I don't care too much about it, it's easy writing. So I wonder. Will the beans be bought by the things I abandon just enough to give them their heads.

[identity profile] britmandelo.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
Here, reading, commenting.

LJ isn't quite dead yet.
sovay: (Default)

[personal profile] sovay 2011-07-28 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe you'll be able to read this.

Not until just now. Good God.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2011-07-28 03:49 am (UTC)(link)

Yeah. The goons at the Kremlin have their hackers working overtime.