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[personal profile] greygirlbeast
Late last night, just after 2 ayem, a bad seizure. I was walking out of the bathroom, and then, a few minutes later, I was lying on the floor of the front parlor. When I could talk again, I asked Spooky if it was bad, and she said, "You've had worse." Small mercies. I went to bed not long afterwards and slept about eight and a half hours, which is more than I've slept at a stretch in ages. This morning, I'm sore and disoriented. I suspect I got a lot of bruises.

I cannot shake the feeling that my fits are something I should not be discussing publicly.

The sun is bright this morning, and the sky is that shade of blue. Terrific thunderstorms last night, hard rain and wind howling around the edges of the house.

Not much to say about yesterday. There was more line editing to be done than I'd expected, mostly pertaining to format. But now B is for Beginnings (the chapbook that comes free with the limited edition of A is for Alien) should be as "corrected" as it's going to get. I still need to go through the collection itself one more time, mostly looking for formatting errors. We read over what has been written on "Some Notes on an Unfinished Film," and Spooky likes it, and she says I should finish it. I sent it to [livejournal.com profile] sovay, who also says finish it. So, I suppose that I will. Part of me wants to set it aside (again), and write something much simpler for Sirenia Digest #35. A simpler narrative structure, I mean. After the decidedly not simple structure of The Red Tree, all those epistolary antics, my preference would be something along the lines of the vignettes from Frog Toes and Tentacles or Tales from the Woeful Platypus. But...here's this story already begun, and I'm already running late, and I don't really have any ideas at the ready for vignettes.

After the editing and reading yesterday, I read and rested, even managing a nap late in the afternoon. Spooky went out into the world and slew a wild pizza for dinner. I fretted about The Red Tree. It rained. Ba da pa pa.

I want to go back to bed, but the platypus says that's not an option.

Date: 2008-10-26 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalamah.livejournal.com
Why *shouldn't* you talk about your fits? It's your journal, damnit.

Date: 2008-10-26 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Why *shouldn't* you talk about your fits? It's your journal, damnit.

It's not a question of whose journal this is. I think it comes down to my being the product of a time and culture that steadfastly did not discuss "such things" in public. Chronic illness and insanity, for example, were not the sort of thing you talked about openlu beyond the family. And even within the family, there was an unspoken protocol. At the time, of course, nothing comparable to LiveJournal existed. The closest you could have come, I suppose, would have been to stand up in school or church and talk about it, or write letters to the newspaper, or something of the sort. My childhood did not prepare me for a world of blogging. It's an odd sort of contradiction: I am a very private person, and yet I keep this very public journal.

Date: 2008-10-26 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] msss.livejournal.com
Oh, yes. The elephant in the room and all that.

Date: 2008-10-26 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] forgottenbelief.livejournal.com
I struggled with the same thing when it comes to my depression/bipolarness/whateverlabelisinthisweek. I finally decided that it was better for me to talk about it in hopes that it would help remove the stigma in society, and if nothing else, I didn't have to hide something that seriously impacts my life.

Course, it helps that I'm a fairly loud person in general.

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Caitlín R. Kiernan

February 2012

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