greygirlbeast: (Default)
Caitlín R. Kiernan ([personal profile] greygirlbeast) wrote2012-02-01 01:35 pm

As We Know It

So, imagine that the entire human population has been decimated by a pandemic. The world's cities have been reduced to rubble and ash. Virtually no survivors remain. But someone makes a "reality TV series" about it. And our survivors all just happen to be amazingly gifted, mostly college-educated professionals, with skills uniquely suited to making it in this post-apopcalyptic wasteland. Well, as long as they have all those other skilled folks on hand. Because, face it. What use is it knowing how to build a solar array to power your blow drier if you don't know how to turn toxic sludge from the LA River into drinking water? Anyway, this is the formula for what Spooky and I found ourselves streaming last night, The Colony. Oh, yeah, it's bad. It's whatever's worse than bad.

Here we are. At the end of the world. In Los Angeles. And there are those roving gangs of bikers from The Road Warrior, only the producers forbid them to hurt any of the "participants," which is a good thing, since California seems to have banned all firearms immediately before the plague hit. Now, want reality? Give me a carpenter, a hooker, a few day laborers, maybe one professional (let's say a CPA), a junky, an orphan, and someone with Alzheimer's, and that would begin to simulate the situation that might arise after The End. Oh, and give them guns and knives and pointy sticks. And screw the bikers. Try roving bands of starving feral (and probably frequently rabid) dogs and coyotes.

I present this oddly watchable train wreck with an F+.

---

Yesterday was a very good day. I wrote 1,403 words and finished "Apostate." I also retitled it "The Transition of Elizabeth Haskings," a vast improvement. Look for Sirenia Digest #74 on Friday.

Meanwhile, I received very good news about closing the deal on Blood Oranges and its two sequels, and I can probably make the official announcement next week (or sooner).

And I'm going to have very cool news regarding both The Red Tree and The Drowning Girl, but I can't yet say what it is...except no, we're not talking film. But very, very cool news. It's gonna make a lot of my readers happy.

Oh! And Spooky ordered us a Cookiethulu T-shirt! (It was on sale yesterday). "Coooooookie! Iä! Iä!"

As for today, I'm going to celebrate yesterday going so well by taking a day off. I'll answer some email, but then I'm outta here, kittens. Which is not to say you shouldn't comment. You should. Because, you know, I will be back.

Looking Up,
Aunt Beast

[identity profile] martianmooncrab.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 05:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"Coooooookie! Iä! Iä!"

those arent chocolate chips...

[identity profile] martianmooncrab.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
extra crispy... uhm...
sovay: (Cho Hakkai: intelligence)

[personal profile] sovay 2012-02-01 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
But very, very cool news. It's gonna make a lot of my readers happy.

Well, even if it's secret, congratulations!

Have a lovely day off.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)

Well, even if it's secret, congratulations!

Thank you!

[identity profile] ashlyme.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 06:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Thumbs-up to the Blood Oranges deal, and the mysterious cool stuff.

I know there was (is there still?) a t-shirt for The Red Tree. Are you likely to be doing anything similar for TDG, beyond the prints?

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 06:24 pm (UTC)(link)

Are you likely to be doing anything similar for TDG, beyond the prints?

Nope. No plans for T-shirts. I think we sold too few on the last one.
witchchild: (unreality)

[personal profile] witchchild 2012-02-01 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
The colony sounds like a real... winner. Yeah, a somehow over-privileged "winner." Or is that weiner?

Enjoy the day off! At least the weather isn't blah-worthy.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)

Or is that weiner?

Definitely a wiener.
witchchild: (grammar)

[personal profile] witchchild 2012-02-01 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
(oy, spelling fail.)

[identity profile] corucia.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)

Re: Blood Oranges - excellent news!

Re: The Red Tree and The Drowning Girl secret news - I'm betting there's some underground shanghai'ing going on...

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)

I think it will please you.

[identity profile] joshrupp.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I like the idea of a really old guy with Alzheimer's not only surviving the apocalypse, but not really noticing it's happening. Kind of like Mr. Magoo, with cannibals.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)

Kind of like Mr. Magoo, with cannibals.

Whoa. Yes!

[identity profile] marisa sandlin (from livejournal.com) 2012-02-01 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Having never watched The Colony, your idea (rooted far more in practicality and fact) is what I keep hammering home to wanks who post about they will "totally survive a zombie apocalypse because I saw Shaun of the Dead/insert any zombie movie here." I am not denigrating Shaun of the Dead (it was hilarious) but frankly, if you have no actual worthwhile survival skills, you're zombie chow like the rest of us.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)

I know I'd last like...no time at all. I accept I would be a burden, and opt out.

[identity profile] captaincurt81.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Good to hear you have good news to share in it's time. I was unsure about THE DROWNING GIRL until I read the PW interview. So I have it pre-ordered now and am looking forward to it. Enjoy the day off.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 09:44 pm (UTC)(link)

I was unsure about THE DROWNING GIRL until I read the PW interview.

Just out of curiosity, since you mentioned it, what were you unsure about?

[identity profile] captaincurt81.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I wondered if it was a new level for your work, i.e. is it different in a way that sets it apart from what has gone before. Having seen the candid interview I am assured that you invested a great deal of yourself in putting this book together. I have found great rewards in the work of other artists who have made their dreams and nightmares into the flesh of the written word. I had no quibble with content. If you engage my mind and my emotions you can tell me ANY story you want to share.

[identity profile] alumiere.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Enjoy your day off; I hope it is lovely and relaxing.

[identity profile] papersteven.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 08:07 pm (UTC)(link)
And I'm going to have very cool news regarding both The Red Tree and The Drowning Girl

This makes me super happy.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)

This makes me super happy.

If all goes as planned, you'll be mightily pleased.

[identity profile] whiskeychick.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Always happy when the good news gods bestow blessings.
inthetatras: People planted in the ground like flowers sprouting in spring. (Default)

[personal profile] inthetatras 2012-02-01 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Congrats on the news you cannot reveal yet. It'll be exciting to read about it then you are finally able to announce it.

The Colony sounds horrible. I'd rather watch the hypothetical scenario you came up with.

[identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)

I'd rather watch the hypothetical scenario you came up with.

My attitude is, "Do this shit right, or don't fucking bother."

[identity profile] v1ewfr0mbugtown.livejournal.com 2012-02-01 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Re: "The Colony": See, I don't watch reality shows, but have always figured they'd be more entertaining w/ real finality for any wrong move. Instead of "Off the island!" or "Out of the house!" or whatever...the contestant would get taken out. Permanently. "Give us your torch, time for your dirt nap." To the applause of the audience and high Neilson ratings. So. It's the end of the world and they still can't take out contestants? Boo.

[identity profile] missmonsta.livejournal.com 2012-02-02 06:04 pm (UTC)(link)
If you'd like a good movie/show about Reality TV + The Zombie Apocalypse {TM}, I've heard "Dead Set" is meant to be quite good. Everyone's in the Big Brother house, the ZA (TM) goes down, but they don't really realise... for a while. The Reality TV chapter in World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie Apocalypse is also quite entertaining :)