greygirlbeast: (chi 5)
[personal profile] greygirlbeast
So, yeah. I'm an asshole about going to the doctor. But so many – likely most – doctors, most of the medical establishment, is predicated on profit and a conveyer-belt mentality, you can sort of see where I'm coming from. The worst part is being commanded by some lesser med tech to do something and do it NOW (but I've gotten exquisitely good at telling them no in a tone that leaves them blinking). Anyway, point is, my doctor here in Providence – not my shrink, but my GP – is actually pretty cool (my shrink's pretty cool, too). And I shouldn't be giving her grief here. She's on the ball, considerate, reasonable, and I've done a whole lot worse. She seems to comprehend the concept of my right to self-determination, even unto death. But I was angry about losing a day of work yesterday, and going to the doctor always freaks me out. Just saying.

I had, last night, a wonderful master plan in my head for this entry. I didn't write it down. It's gone.

And I've just heard confirmation, via @WM3ORG (Twitter), that the "West Memphis Three" have been released. These are people at the courthouse. After eighteen years, Damien Echols, Jessie Misskelley, Jr., and Jason Baldwin have been released from prison. Of course, they had to plead guilty (under a precedent that allows a guilty plea while maintaining innocence) to receive suspended sentences. Lots of confusion, since this is happening as I type. But. Still. This has been one of the most horrific and most tragic miscarriages of justice in American history, but, at least, now it's ended. Sort of (this is complicated, and the government of Arkansas has not been redeemed). Yet, how do you return eighteen stolen years to a man? How do you return his youth? But...now it's done.

And now I'm well and truly lost within this entry. Too much perspective and surprise all the fuck at once.

Yesterday, I wrote...nothing. I can rarely write on Doctor Visit Days (DVDs). But I did manage to make corrections to the pages I wrote on Wednesday. And I spoke with my agent (who's fled to Maine to escape the heat of NYC), and we agreed that I'm going to ask that Blood Oranges be published as "Caitlín R. Kiernan writing as K. R. Tierney." Why? Because. Even though it will be known that I wrote the book, and even though it's a fine and fun book, I want it set apart from The Red Tree and The Drowning Girl: A Memoir. Apples and oranges, let's just say. And we come back to that issue of self-determination. Which is really all that needs to be said on that subject. Though, I will answer questions, if you have them.

And that BIG thing about which I cannot speak, which I first mentioned on July 1st, I worked on that too – that marvelous, unbelievable, dizzying thing – though I still can't talk about it. The news will be sent out into the world when the TPTB deem the time right. But you will be happy....

After the doctor, I needed to center myself. So, I went to Rock Star on Thayer Street and had the plugs in my ears swapped from 6 gauge to 4. Actual eyelets! Thank you, Billy. I'll go up to 2 this spring. And yes, there's a photo (Spooky took it this ayem):



Last night, after dinner, there was good RP in Insilico. Grendel (Class V AI), bodyguard to a yakuza boss, had to quietly, politely, calmly convince some Russian wannabe (predictably named Dmitri) that it wasn't a good night for him to die. Be nice, and maybe I'll tell you about her katana. Wink, wink. We read more of The Stand. We watched the last episode of Season Four of Law and Order: Criminal Intent and the first episode of Season Five. And, yes! More Nicole Wallace. Whenever she says "Bobby," I get that flutter in my belly, that good flutter. Oh, if only there were more of their Holmes and Moriarty dance. Anyway, I signed onto Rift just long enough to do the dailies. I read "Anatomy and affinities of large archosauromorphs from the lower Fremouw Formation (Early Triassic) of Antarctica" and "Boremys (Testudines, Baenidae) from the latest Cretaceous and early Paleocene of North Dakota: an 1.1-million-year range extension and an additional K/T survivor." Just before sleep, I read more of Firestorm at Peshtigo: A Town, It's People, and the Deadliest Fire in American History, and, fuck all...

How does anyone do that much shit in one fucking evening? No wonder I woke up exhausted.

Gotta go write. And listen to the news...

Up the road to Glenaveigh,
Aunt Beast

Date: 2011-08-19 06:19 pm (UTC)
sovay: (Cho Hakkai: intelligence)
From: [personal profile] sovay
So, I went to Rock Star on Thayer Street and had the plugs in my ears swapped from 6 gauge to 4. Actual eyelets!

Nice . . .

But...now it's done.

At least it's done.

Date: 2011-08-19 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

At least it's done.

It's a little hard to take in, honestly.

Date: 2011-08-19 06:38 pm (UTC)
sovay: (PJ Harvey: crow)
From: [personal profile] sovay
It's a little hard to take in, honestly.

No; it is strange and I'm not sure I could say anything that wouldn't be stupid or trite. I don't know what you do with that kind of lost time. At least they should lose no more.

Date: 2011-08-19 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com


No; it is strange and I'm not sure I could say anything that wouldn't be stupid or trite.


Pretty much the way I feel.

I don't know what you do with that kind of lost time.

No fucking idea. And Damien's been in solitary for all of it.

By the way, who is that in your icon? I've always meant to ask.

Date: 2011-08-19 06:50 pm (UTC)
sovay: (PJ Harvey: crow)
From: [personal profile] sovay
By the way, who is that in your icon? I've always meant to ask.

PJ Harvey. The site where I got the original image no longer exists, but it's this.

Date: 2011-08-19 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

PJ Harvey.

Fuck!

Okay. I'm embarrassed.

Date: 2011-08-19 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stsisyphus.livejournal.com
Oh. I could have sworn it was you. I just assumed it was a publicity shot for your publisher.

Date: 2011-08-19 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Me?

You trying to butter me up or what?

Date: 2011-08-20 05:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stsisyphus.livejournal.com
No, I thought it was a picture of Sonya.

Date: 2011-08-19 06:35 pm (UTC)
mithriltabby: Rotating images of gonzo scientific activities (Science!)
From: [personal profile] mithriltabby
The challenge with a doctor visit is distinguishing the medical scientists from the priests of Aesculapius. My darling [livejournal.com profile] obsessivewoman had to get past several dogma-dispensing priests before she finally found some actual scientists to study her condition.

Date: 2011-08-19 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I've often noted that most doctors are not scientists, they're the biological equivalent of mechanics. That said, finding doctors who will shut up and listen, that's a huge part of it, too.

Date: 2011-08-19 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robyn-ma.livejournal.com
'I'm an asshole about going to the doctor.'

Would that there were more assholes like you.

Remind me sometime to tell you how very little good doctors (as opposed to the sterling home-care people, especially the ones with no degree who did the actual hard work of keeping her comfortable) did my mom.

Fuck doctors.

Glad/relieved about the WM3, angry/sad that they lost 18 years for nothing.

Date: 2011-08-19 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Remind me sometime to tell you how very little good doctors (as opposed to the sterling home-care people, especially the ones with no degree who did the actual hard work of keeping her comfortable) did my mom.

Will do.

Glad/relieved about the WM3, angry/sad that they lost 18 years for nothing.

That pretty much sums up my feelings.

Date: 2011-08-19 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stsisyphus.livejournal.com
And yes, there's a photo (Spooky took it this ayem)...

Man, I've been trying not to ask when this was going to happen. Looks lovely.

Anyway, I signed onto Rift just long enough to do the dailies...

Betweemn getting home stupid late, dogs, and other RL concerns, I'm left with no significant time to try to log on. Hopefully things are still going okay.

Date: 2011-08-19 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com


Man, I've been trying not to ask when this was going to happen. Looks lovely.


Thank you. I'm proud of them. Now, if I can just get the tattoos started.

Hopefully things are still going okay.

I admit, I worry about the guild. But...I don't know. Somehow, I jumped the track.

Date: 2011-08-19 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aliceoddcabinet.livejournal.com
Re: different names for different books. I mean, it just makes *sense*, doesn't it? And from the way you've talked about it, Blood Oranges is something of a departure for you, yes? (I mean you're not writing category romance, but still) I think about someone like Ruth Rendell who also writes as Barbara Vine. Everybody KNOWS Barbara Vine is Ruth Rendell. We just know that when we pick up a Barbara Vine book, there are going to be fewer dead bodies and no one's going to round up the suspects, and instead we'll get some kind of demented weirdness instead. It just makes, well, *sense*, right?

Date: 2011-08-19 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

different names for different books. I mean, it just makes *sense*, doesn't it?

It does to me, yes.

And from the way you've talked about it, Blood Oranges is something of a departure for you, yes?

Very much so.

Date: 2011-08-19 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aliceoddcabinet.livejournal.com
Oh! And Re: Doctors. This friend of mine had a fucking BRAIN TUMOR, and the Doctors couldn't figure out what was going on. It was the NURSE who actually TALKED to her like she was a PERSON (sorry for caps. angry!) and found out that her mother had died of this weird disorder where you grow a lot neuro-tumors. SHE was the one who figured it out.

Fuck doctors.
*heart* nurses.

Date: 2011-08-19 11:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insanitybook.livejournal.com
Jealous of your four-gauges and your tragus. My holes are going to have to stay at six because I'm supposed to look professional or some junk.

Do you have any suggestions for preparing for and caring for a tragus piercing? I kinda want one.

Date: 2011-08-19 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Jealous of your four-gauges and your tragus. My holes are going to have to stay at six because I'm supposed to look professional or some junk.

One of the advantages of being unemployed...I mean, my own boss.


Do you have any suggestions for preparing for and caring for a tragus piercing? I kinda want one.


Nope. I just had it done, and it healed. But be warned, at some point, I've had almost everything pierced. And something about that one...it was bad. I'm usually utterly serene during a piercing. I usually find serenity in the pain. But that one...my piercer (this was in Atlanta, about 1997), though I was going to faint. But it was worth it.

Date: 2011-08-20 02:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrs-ralph.livejournal.com
Oh dear, I wish you wouldn't stretch your earholes. I find it 'squicky' to look at someone and get the impression you are looking through their head and there is nothing there but air. It will also date you beyond your years later on though maybe you won't mind being "anomalous late 20th century skeleton" to some archeologist? Personally I live in hope of being an interesting find but I think I will probably be cremated to make life simpler for my family.

Date: 2011-08-20 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Oh dear, I wish you wouldn't stretch your earholes. I find it 'squicky'

As they say, beauty is a matter of the beholder.

Anyway, it's done. Past the point of no return.

Date: 2011-08-20 03:28 pm (UTC)
ext_4772: (Good Omens)
From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
maybe you won't mind being "anomalous late 20th century skeleton" to some archeologist?

At least she won't turn out to be a Cylon.

Date: 2011-08-21 08:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrs-ralph.livejournal.com
Are we sure about that? Those Cylons had everyone fooled, even themselves!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-08-21 08:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrs-ralph.livejournal.com
No, but archeologists usually find artifacts like earrings, coins, buttons etc with bodies when they dig. That is one of the things that helps them date their finds.

Date: 2011-08-20 04:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceewayne.livejournal.com
Oh Nicole Wallace... Sigh... Just Sigh...

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