greygirlbeast: (white2)
[personal profile] greygirlbeast
Any email that begins "Dear Beloved Friend" (or that has those words in its subject line) is either from a funeral parlor, evangelical Xtians, or an East-African money laundering scam.

I managed to get to sleep by three ayem this morning, and slept eight and a half hours, which is all but unheard of, as me and sleep goes. Yesterday's mood was so black, just before midnight I gave up trying to do much of anything. But, I'm getting ahead of myself, having begun the wrong way round.

It's raining today. I already miss the sunlight of yesterday. I didn't used to mind the rain.

Yesterday I was supposed to write more on Blood Oranges. Instead, I spent pretty much the whole afternoon dealing with the bonus section of illustrations that will be appearing in the limited edition of Two Worlds and In Between. I'd not been told we couldn't use color illustrations (because they have to be mechanically tipped in, etc. and etc.), so I'd included Ryan Obermeyer's marvelous cover for The Dry Salvages (it's there on his website; just use the menu until you find berliner dom). So, as I wasn't about to do the painting injustice by having it reproduced in black and white, I had to find a new piece to replace it (which wound up being a second Dame Darcy drawing from In the Garden of Poisonous Flowers. And there was more to dealing with the art, and more, and more.

And then my agent called...and we talked a lot. About the NEWS THAT IS SO GOOD, SO COOL I can't talk about it yet. After that, I was shot for the day. We had an early dinner, then headed out to the RISD museum for a FREE showing of Stanley Donen's Funny Face (1957). And then we strolled through the museum's temporary "Cocktail Culture" exhibit, and then we came home again.

I tried to rp, but the scene just kept feeling flatter and flatter, and I knew it was my fault and finally bowed out. I lay on the floor in the front parlor for a while, watching Spooky playing Alice: The Madness Returns, which is actually very beautiful. But the black mood grew blacker, and eventually I crawled off to bed. My pills let me sleep.

And that's yesterday, kittens. Today, the black mood is still with me. I'll sew something from it, which is usually the way of things.

Whiner: "Why are your stories always so dark?"

Me: "I make the best I can of what I'm given, that's why."

Whiner: "You're just not trying hard enough. You dwell on the darkness."

Me: "Go fuck yourself."

Now, that said, please do have a look at Round 2 of the Big Damn eBay Auction. Thanks.

Comments would be a kindness, here in the fading, last days or months or years of LiveJournal. Then again, now that we have Facebook, where communication apparently thrives in the absence of capitalization, proper spelling, and punctuation....*

Bound and Gagged,
Aunt Beast

* I'm not talking about people who misuse punctuation and capitalization. I'm talking about people who can't be bothered to use any at all.

Date: 2011-06-17 05:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulpine137.livejournal.com
"Why are your stories so dark?" Yeah, that's a dorky question. Yay for good news that cannot be spoken aloud. Hope it can be spoken soon.

Date: 2011-06-17 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Yeah, that's a dorky question.

I think it's worse than dorky...but maybe that's just me.

Date: 2011-06-17 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ashlyme.livejournal.com
I hope the mood gets less black for you. But at least you can forge something fine from it. Take heart from the fact that you'll never write the vanilla the whiners crave.

Date: 2011-06-17 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com
Take heart from the fact that you'll never write the vanilla the whiners crave.

I rather take heart from picking their flesh from between my teeth.
Edited Date: 2011-06-17 05:34 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-18 12:36 am (UTC)
ext_4772: (Scorpio)
From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
You could have fangs, with enough whittling.

(Me, I want stingers.)

Date: 2011-06-17 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jdack.livejournal.com
Most of my LJ friends and I have moved over to Dreamwidth. It's pretty much the same thing, but with more sensible owners (former LJ people as it happens.)

Date: 2011-06-17 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Most of my LJ friends and I have moved over to Dreamwidth. It's pretty much the same thing, but with more sensible owners (former LJ people as it happens.)

Erm...

I've heard some really, really foul things about how foul the owners of Dreamwidth are, and their antics. Now, they might still be better than the people Six Apart sold LJ to, but...

Date: 2011-06-17 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jdack.livejournal.com
I hadn't heard any of that. We made the switch last year and thus far the experience has been smooth.

Date: 2011-06-17 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I may post details tomorrow. I'm fact checking.

Date: 2011-06-18 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] royal-spice.livejournal.com
I'd be really interested in reading that if you do post.

Date: 2011-06-17 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] grinkat.livejournal.com
"bathypelagic"
Didn't know that one. Thank you.

Date: 2011-06-17 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

It's one of my favorites.

Date: 2011-06-17 06:01 pm (UTC)
mithriltabby: Serene silver tabby (R'lyeh)
From: [personal profile] mithriltabby
That’s about right for dealing with the whiners. The universe deals out some really unpleasant cards at times. We play our cards as best we can, but we can’t all put together a hand of “I am so pleasant that I emit sunshine from all my bodily orifices”.

Date: 2011-06-17 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

but we can’t all put together a hand of “I am so pleasant that I emit sunshine from all my bodily orifices”.

Hey, at least you just made me smile.

Date: 2011-06-17 06:31 pm (UTC)
mithriltabby: Dragon and Buddha boogying (Boogie)
From: [personal profile] mithriltabby
Victory!

(I count each chuckle wrested from an uncaring universe as a victory, particularly when I can make my darling [livejournal.com profile] obsessivewoman laugh through her migraines.)

Date: 2011-06-17 06:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kathryn-aka-kat.livejournal.com
Re: eBay: Bid made!
Re: comments: One reason I prefer LJ to Facebook is that the comments are usually more thoughtful. I don't like making comments of no use, of no content, so I apologize for not contributing more comments on your entries but often I have nothing reasonably worth saying.
Re: Dreamwidth: The best use I've seen is as LJ-remote, where everything gets cross-posted to LJ but you don't have to twiddle your thumbs during server outages (of if LJ gets cut off entirely).

(edited for typo, bleah)
Edited Date: 2011-06-17 06:05 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-17 06:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Re: eBay: Bid made!

Thank you.


Re: comments: One reason I prefer LJ to Facebook is that the comments are usually more thoughtful.


And literate.

Re: Dreamwidth: The best use I've seen is as LJ-remote, where everything gets cross-posted to LJ but you don't have to twiddle your thumbs during server outages (of if LJ gets cut off entirely).

I was doing then, until I learned who runs Dreamwidth.

Date: 2011-06-17 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fusijui.livejournal.com
Any email that begins "Dear Beloved Friend" (or that has those words in its subject line) is either from a funeral parlor, evangelical Xtians, or an East-African money laundering scam.

What, don't you get emails from long-departed Victorian penpals? Weird.

I didn't know until you said this that there was a sequel to American McGee's "Alice"! I am so there. Thanks!

Date: 2011-06-17 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

What, don't you get emails from long-departed Victorian penpals? Weird.

Alas, nothing earlier than the 1920s.

I didn't know until you said this that there was a sequel to American McGee's "Alice"! I am so there. Thanks!

You're welcome.

Date: 2011-06-17 06:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] insanitybook.livejournal.com
Ugh, I wanna hear your so good, so cool news! The suspense is killing me, to be sure.

I'm kind of hot for proper grammar. People who type and text using proper grammar are the sexiest people on the planet.

Date: 2011-06-17 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

The suspense is killing me, to be sure.

Keeping secrets drives me nuts, and right now I'm keeping two. Or three. I forget.

People who type and text using proper grammar are the sexiest people on the planet.

They're certainly high on my list.

Date: 2011-06-18 12:38 am (UTC)
ext_4772: (Alt!Scotty)
From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
Keeping secrets drives me nuts, and right now I'm keeping two. Or three. I forget.

I can keep one for you!

(...I know, I'm not helping.)

People who type and text using proper grammar are the sexiest people on the planet.

They're certainly high on my list.


It means they're good and careful with their hands.

Date: 2011-06-17 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ulffriend.livejournal.com
"Why are your stories always so dark?"

Those people make me crazy. If they'd get their heads out of the sand (or whatever other locations they put their heads), they'd realize that the world can be a dark place indeed. They wouldn't even need fiction to figure it out - the nearest newspaper would do just fine.

Your ability to take the darkness and transform it into something that entertains has always astounded me. I'm a forensic social worker by day and a therapeutic foster parent when I get home, so I bump up against enough of the dark to tide me over. And still I eagerly await everything you write. As far as I can tell, your stories are about people dealing with things and doing the best they can, no matter how rotten that is. And I read because I love the way that you use language, much the same way that I read Shirley Jackson and Margaret Atwood not just for story but for pure beauty of craft.

Anyone who only sees "dark" probably shouldn't be reading anything deeper than the comics page in the Sunday paper.

I hope that the black dog leaves your door soon, and am eagerly awaiting the good news.

Date: 2011-06-17 10:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I think, too – for my part – there's simply a beauty to the darkness that I'll never be able to look away from.

Date: 2011-06-17 10:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ulffriend.livejournal.com
I can see that. I do what I do because I hope that I help people, but I also understand that there has to be something inside me that responds. People frequently say that they "don't know how I do it," (about both things), and my response is always an apparently-joking, "Ah yes, but there has to be someone who loves doing everything, doesn't there, or things wouldn't get done."

My only struggle is with the children. The younger they are, the more I struggle. They neither chose nor deserve what happens to them, but the universe is a cold bitch and doesn't care.

Perhaps some time you and I may have the opportunity to have one of those discussions of Evil, and why people do Bad Things.

Date: 2011-06-17 10:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

but the universe is a cold bitch and doesn't care.

Exactly.

Perhaps some time you and I may have the opportunity to have one of those discussions of Evil, and why people do Bad Things.

Truthfully, I'm much more mystified by the fact that they occasionally do "good" things.

Date: 2011-06-17 10:28 pm (UTC)
sovay: (Sovay: David Owen)
From: [personal profile] sovay
Whiner: "Why are your stories always so dark?"

Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Date: 2011-06-17 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Yes! I laughed!

Date: 2011-06-17 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lois2037.livejournal.com
"Whiner: "You're just not trying hard enough. You dwell on the darkness." I believe that is a direct request for a smack upside the head in addition to the "Go fuck yourself."

Speaking only for myself, I need, I relish the darkness. Sometimes it's lovely and comfortable there, and it's always interesting. I love the light, too, but in a different way.

Date: 2011-06-18 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I love the light, too, but in a different way.

Makes me squint.

Date: 2011-06-18 02:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alumiere.livejournal.com
Black moods happen to a lot of us. I wish I were able to make something beautiful out of them as you so often do.

It rained in LA today as well; definitely put me in a bad mood, but at least we're having three bean chili for dinner to warm me up.

Date: 2011-06-18 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Black moods happen to a lot of us.

I fear it's my default setting.

Date: 2011-06-18 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xjenavivex.livejournal.com
Today has been a tough one for me. I can't think of a great comment. Just wanted you to know I stopped in and was glad to find you here. I need what you make with what you have. I am forever grateful. Have a good weekend.

Date: 2011-06-18 03:46 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-18 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceewayne.livejournal.com
Sometimes I find the darkness comforting. Sometimes you need to see the little victories that your characters have because we don't get big victories.

Date: 2011-06-18 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Sometimes you need to see the little victories that your characters have because we don't get big victories.

Very well said.

Date: 2011-06-18 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] opalblack.livejournal.com
I'm doing this 30 Days of Paganism meme thing, and I wanted to show you my cosmology post, since it talks about how I reconcile science and myth, which I know is something close to your own heart. I would dearly love to know more about your thoughts on Panthalassa, if it's something you'd be willing to discuss.
http://opalblack.livejournal.com/92780.html

Date: 2011-06-18 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I haven't even heard about the 30 Days of Paganism thing.

I'll think about this.

Date: 2011-06-19 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sa-jathan.livejournal.com
Maybe it's me. I've never characterised your work as dark. They're just describing what happens, and that may tend to be down some dark road more often than not. Such is life. There are more fantastic elements than dark elements. All that matters to me is every time I reach the end of LOW RED MOON I'm crying and my heart is broken.

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