greygirlbeast: (walter3)
[personal profile] greygirlbeast
A rare alignment of cranial discomfort. Parallel lines of eye-bleeding hurt. I'm not sure Spooky and I have ever before had multi-day headaches at the same time. But we have now. And it sucks rancid weasel ass through a crazy straw, and it needs to fucking stop. My scalp feels like there's broken glass just beneath the skin.

This is a day on which there must be comments. I won't survive without them.

My thanks to Joah, who sent me a link to someone's list of "The Six Creepiest Abandoned Places." I'd argue the list isn't definitive, but it's still a pretty good list. I'm especially taken with Gunkanjima, Japan and Hellingly Asylum. The latter is genuinely exquisite. I would live there in a heartbeat:

On the sheets and pillow case,
In my bed for heaven's sake,
The devil's dancing until late in my head there.
But I could sleep with you there.
I could sleep with you there.


That's interesting. Firstly, that while thinking of Hellingly Asylum the lyrics to a Catharine Wheel song occurred to me. Secondly, that they apply so aptly to last night's insomnia (which was Nigh Unto Monumental, no sleep until after six ayem) and also apply to my emotional reaction to the photographs (follow the link from the article) of that place. Rabbit hole. Subconscious association. Pink Freud. 5 and 1/2 minute hallways. It's all the same thing in here. Anyway, I loved this bit from the article (about another asylum, one in New Jersey):

Listen, because this is important advice: If you ever start a sanatorium, you need to tear that shit down once you’re done with it. Not repurpose it or leave it empty or something; that is just begging – literally begging – for a group of stupid teenagers to sneak inside of it to have illicit sex, where they will inevitably get murdered by the ghosts of madmen. It’s like a Roach Motel for horny morons. You may as well put an “Idiots Fuck Here” sign out front and start up a mortuary next door; you’d make a killing.

See, I don't get to genuinely laugh – that sort of laughter that makes you hurt yourself – that often. That paragraph made me laugh. Oh, in particular, I was soothed by this photo from Hellingly. I'm not bullshitting you. I'm not being sarcastic. That's just...soothing. I think I look like that inside. If you cracked me open, you'd find that room.

---

On this day in 1900, Aleister Crowley broke into and took over the Golden Dawn temple in London, providing the catalyst for the demise of the original Golden Dawn.

---

Yesterday, despite the black mood and the headache, I wrote 1,072 words on "Fake Plastic Trees" while Spooky drew ravens. The story seems to be coming together. After reading yesterday's pages, Spooky said, "This makes me feel so bad. Really, really bad. The complete wrongness of it, of that whole world." I'm taking this as a compliment, because I know she meant it as one.

Intention isn't everything, kittens, but it carries a lot of weight with me.

After working on the story, I wrote an actual Wikipedia entry on Hauffiosaurus, because when I linked to it yesterday there was just a sad-ass, one-sentence stub. That took about another hour.

We saw the latest episode of Fringe last night. Jesus fuck, this show is brilliant. It's gone from a dull first season, all monster-of-the-week nonsense, to sheer fucking wonky universe-warping brilliance. Last night's episode, "Lysergic Acid Diethylamide," has to receive an Emmy nomination. If the Emmy's mean anything (and we already know they don't). This is the first series since Farscape that truly isn't afraid of being as weird as it needs to be, but which isn't just being weird for weird's sake. Pushing Daisies tried to be this brilliant, but was murdered long before it achieved this level of supremely masterful weirdness.

Spooky's doing the tax thing today. Taxes, taxes, we all fall down.

Gods, I just realized I've been wearing the same T-shirt for four days. "Reynolds/Washburne 2008: You Can't Stop the Signal." Dirty fucking nerd. Take a bath and change your damn clothes.

Oh, hello. How long have you been standing there?

You know, for kids,
Aunt Beast
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Date: 2011-04-17 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whiskeychick.livejournal.com
I know that you feel chained to your desk and that you and Spooky both are plagued with maladies that prevent the creative beauty inside of you, but you are both so inspiring.

Trust me (fellow migraine sufferer) when the glass on the underside of the scalp dances and you still work through what you have to do -- you are the victor. Slightly more insane, yes. But victorious with a capital V. But I've become convinced this year that we all are, truly. Normal is a bitter pill that we rail against.

I fucking hate taxes.

Love the abandoned places link. Thanks for passing it along.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Normal is a bitter pill that we rail against.

That's a very good sentence.

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Date: 2011-04-17 06:25 pm (UTC)
sovay: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sovay
Oh, in particular, I was soothed by this photo from Hellingly.

I can't remember if I told you about this at the time, but if you have not seen Stephen Wilkes' Ellis Island: Ghosts of Freedom, I recommend finding a copy posthaste. There was an exhibition about three years ago at the Griffin Museum in Winchester; they were some of the most haunting photographs of buildings I'd seen. The excerpt gallery online is small, but worth it.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I can't remember if I told you about this at the time

No, you didn't. Wow. Beautiful. Thanks.

I hope you're feeling better.

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Date: 2011-04-17 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coyotegoth.livejournal.com
That list of abandoned places reminds me of a short 16 mm documentary film I once made on Rye Playland in the off-season: all blowing leaves, dripping raindrops, and empty buildings. The soundtrack was a series of interviews I'd done with people about their fears related to loneliness and dying, with a soft underscoring of Pink Floyd. I wonder what ever happened to it?

Date: 2011-04-17 06:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

all blowing leaves, dripping raindrops, and empty buildings. The soundtrack was a series of interviews I'd done with people about their fears related to loneliness and dying, with a soft underscoring of Pink Floyd.

That sounds very, very cool.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pisceanblue.livejournal.com
I found the commentary for that article to be hilarious becuase it seemed so much more appropriate than a sort of somber acknowledgment.

Fringe has been so audacious this season (and last) that I hope the production team is allowed to be as weird as they like for as long as necessary. Because we need it.

My cranium offers its sympathies, as I recently emerged from a multi-day migraine in which I began to theorize multi-dimensional entities were torturing me for purposes unknown.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I found the commentary for that article to be hilarious becuase it seemed so much more appropriate than a sort of somber acknowledgment.

Agreed.

Fringe has been so audacious this season (and last) that I hope the production team is allowed to be as weird as they like for as long as necessary. Because we need it.

It has at least one more season, thank fuck.

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Date: 2011-04-17 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xjenavivex.livejournal.com
Centralia always gets me to thinking about story potential. Thank you for sharing the links. I hope your headaches disappear today and the aftermath odd sensation does not linger.

I love that you wrote that Wikipedia article.

Oh and the dirty nerd comment, well it was just hot.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Centralia always gets me to thinking about story potential.

"A terrible beauty is born."

I love that you wrote that Wikipedia article.

I've written lots of them.

Oh and the dirty nerd comment, well it was just hot.

Big brains are sexy. I get that. But dirty nerds?

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Date: 2011-04-17 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vrykolakes.livejournal.com
"You may as well put an “'Idiots Fuck Here'” sign out front and start up a mortuary next door; you’d make a killing."

Considering what came before, I find that sentence rather...punny.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I find that sentence rather...punny.

Oh, indeed.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kurtmulgrew.livejournal.com
I always tell my girlfriend I wish I had a place like the old abandoned broom factor the guy had in the second Blair Witch Project movie or some old ass church are something.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

the second Blair Witch Project movie

I never saw that movie. The whole thing with the "goth girl" sort of pissed me off.

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Date: 2011-04-17 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com
The correct response to 'you know, for kids' is of course to post a giant perfectly round circle with no explanation, but I do not have the coding chops to do that, so let's take it as said.

I hope the headaches you both have go away soonest.

Date: 2011-04-17 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

The correct response to 'you know, for kids' is of course to post a giant perfectly round circle with no explanation...

Oh, I'm so glad someone got that.

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Painting

Date: 2011-04-17 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xjenavivex.livejournal.com
I've been meaning to ask you if you've painted any lately.

Re: Painting

Date: 2011-04-17 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I've been meaning to ask you if you've painted any lately.

It's been a couple of weeks.

Re: Painting

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Re: Painting

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migraines

Date: 2011-04-17 07:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xjenavivex.livejournal.com
I often describe mine as tectonic plates masquerading as glass shards sidling around, grinding together in my head especially when I move at all.

It is rare that I have to deal with one when also fighting insomnia. I am sorry you are up against both.

Date: 2011-04-17 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seph-ski.livejournal.com
I've been getting an extraordinary amount of headaches this spring, but I'll take many minor headaches over a four day migraine! For you both to be suffering is strange. Do you have a carbon monoxide detector?

I am on day four of a nasty cold though. Maybe the aliens have started their invasion?

Hope you both feel better.

Date: 2011-04-17 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Do you have a carbon monoxide detector?

No, but it isn't that. With me, it's mostly weather and hormone fluctuations. And Kathryn's had migraines pretty much her entire life. They were much worse when she was young.

Maybe the aliens have started their invasion?

They will come up through our noses.

Date: 2011-04-17 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niamh-sage.livejournal.com
Well, now I know about Hauffiosaurus, which I hadn't heard of before. I think it's great that you filled in that gap on Wikipedia. :)

Date: 2011-04-17 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Well, now I know about Hauffiosaurus, which I hadn't heard of before.

Few people can name a single genus of plesiosaur. Some might know Plesiosaurus, but that's about it.

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From: [identity profile] niamh-sage.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-04-17 08:19 pm (UTC) - Expand

The Book of Lost Places

Date: 2011-04-17 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jessamyg.livejournal.com
I enjoyed your link to the photo from Hellingly - more pictures from the insides of our minds. I have been unable to return the book 'Beauty In Decay', compiled by RomanyWG, to the library, as I find the images it contains to be so wonderful. I love the way some locations just seem to exist in their own little pocket dimensions, battening on the imagery in a visitors head. There are some places that seem to be physical manifestations of certain states of mind, and you can feel the atmosphere and the intensity of them.

Re: The Book of Lost Places

Date: 2011-04-17 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

There are some places that seem to be physical manifestations of certain states of mind, and you can feel the atmosphere and the intensity of them.

I would argue this is true of all points in time and space. It's just that some strike us more strongly than others. Then again, it varies from person to person. Many are entirely unmoved by ruin, or see in it only ugliness and loss and even take offense at those who see beauty in decay.

Date: 2011-04-17 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ashlyme.livejournal.com
"Beauty in decay."

Count me in as somebody who gets that. There's a wealth of crumbling warehouses and factories round the backstreets of Birmingham that I've fallen in love with. A lot of them are being redeveloped/gentrified, and I hate that.

"Dirty fucking nerd."

Nothing wrong with that. I'll often wear the same pair of jeans for a week.

My best friend has spent a fair chunk of today trying to tell me how good how Fringe is. Maybe I'll take up her offer and borrow the first couple of seasons.

Hope the twin migraines are sorted now. Never suffered from it yet, but I get constant eye strain. It's a bitch and a half.

Date: 2011-04-18 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Count me in as somebody who gets that. There's a wealth of crumbling warehouses and factories round the backstreets of Birmingham that I've fallen in love with. A lot of them are being redeveloped/gentrified, and I hate that.

I lived at the Liberty Building when it was still loft apartments. Morris Avenue was beautiful. I hear it's all being gentrified and ruined.

Date: 2011-04-17 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eluneth.livejournal.com
Headaches are the worst of the worst when it comes to incapacitating. I'm impressed that you're even typing - hope the migraine demons back off both you and Spooky soon.

On this day in 1900
I always enjoy your "on this day" mentions. I also enjoyed the Hauffiosaurus article - I hadn't stopped to fully verbalize this thought to myself before, but plesiosaurs are really beautiful. Masters of sinuousness!

I'm terrible at watching TV, but your commentary is making me think that I have to start Fringe. I crave really good weird in film/tv, but rarely have been able to find anything that really hits the spot.

Date: 2011-04-18 01:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

plesiosaurs are really beautiful. Masters of sinuousness!

That they are.

I'm terrible at watching TV, but your commentary is making me think that I have to start Fringe.

It's very awesome. Also, a lot can be streamed off Hulu free. Probably all if you pay the monthly $7.99 for Hulu PLus (which you can get free for one week).

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Date: 2011-04-17 11:23 pm (UTC)
deakat: (spooky)
From: [personal profile] deakat
Off-topic comment:

The first work of yours that I encountered was The Red Tree. Since then, it's been echoing 'round and 'round inside my skull, which is a bit frightening, but I like it.

Date: 2011-04-18 01:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com
Since then, it's been echoing 'round and 'round inside my skull, which is a bit frightening, but I like it.

Thanks. It's meant to linger.
Edited Date: 2011-04-18 01:33 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-04-18 12:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rai-ryu.livejournal.com
Not many abandoned places like that anywhere close to where I live (although while driving through Vermont I saw quite a few). There is an abandoned factory in town that I managed to get into during the short time the cemented-in door had been knocked down. Though I hear now they're thinking of turning the building into something else *sigh*

Personally I liked the photo of the library at Hellingly. Though I think it might be the kind of room that would overwhelm me if I were there. And Gunkanjima I would really love to visit, if I ever had the chance.

My sympathies on the headaches, I know how they can be.

Date: 2011-04-18 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Though I hear now they're thinking of turning the building into something else

I'm really not opposed to restoration. I'd rather see a building saved than lost. Perhaps it
s that decay should be seen as a transient state. Well, it is already. Obviously. But one that can towards or counter to entropy

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Date: 2011-04-18 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrs-ralph.livejournal.com
No, indeed you cannot stop the signal. I hear there is talk of raising money so Nathan Fillion can buy the rights and get Firefly on the air again.

That is a gorgeous room (the wide room in Hellingly) I would love to have a room with windows like that.

I hope you both get over your headaches and the taxes aren't too harsh.

Date: 2011-04-18 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I hear there is talk of raising money so Nathan Fillion can buy the rights and get Firefly on the air again.

Truthfully, it's a well meant but absurd idea. Fillion has even said so, and asked people to drop that campaign. Even if he had the rights, which the studio would never agree to sell back (people seem to forget the part where the show's not for sell), there's no way he'd have the money to produce new episodes.

Date: 2011-04-18 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kathryn-aka-kat.livejournal.com
That photo, the room itself is beautiful, the sort that could have very good ghosts.

Date: 2011-04-18 06:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

the sort that could have very good ghosts.

The sort that is a ghost.

Date: 2011-04-18 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] egologic.livejournal.com
I haven't had a chance to look at the creepy places yet but I'm looking forward to it.

In the meantime... A friend gave me this link: http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/gallery/2011/jan/02/photography-detroit

She gave me this link as a result of my husband and I visiting Tarrytown, NY (which is, of course, very close to Sleepy Hollow). She had lived in the area and was very familiar with it. Which led to these links. There seem to be a number of books with photographs of ruins in the Hudson Valley. And if you look for some of these books on Amazon it appears you can find yourself being led to other books for ruins in other places. I find a great deal of beauty in photographs like these but I feel a lot more that isn't as easy to describe as beautiful but probably contains things like despair, disappointment and disgust at such waste.

http://www.hudsonvalleyruins.org/book.html
The links on this site look especially tantalizing: http://www.hudsonvalleyruins.org/yasinsac/links1.html

http://www.amazon.com/Hudson-Valley-Ruins-Forgotten-Landmarks/dp/1584655984

Date: 2011-04-18 03:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jacobluest.livejournal.com
I've talked to two other people, besides myself, who have been suffering with migraines for a couple days straight now. You appear to be in good company. I blame the apocalyptic weather.

~Jacob

Date: 2011-04-18 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com
I blame the apocalyptic weather.

It doesn't help.
Edited Date: 2011-04-18 06:19 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-04-18 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ericmvan.livejournal.com
We seem to like many of the same things. Do you know Bob and Ray? E.g., the Komodo Dragon Expert sketch?

Date: 2011-04-18 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

E.g., the Komodo Dragon Expert sketch?

I do not.

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From: [identity profile] ericmvan.livejournal.com - Date: 2011-04-19 07:45 am (UTC) - Expand

Loved the picture

Date: 2011-04-18 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melissaleeg83.livejournal.com
I went looked few a few others. Is it wrong to think it looks fun and beautiful?
You know how women have periods around the same time? I'm convinced headaches are the same. My grandmother and I seem to trade the same one with one another.

Re: Loved the picture

Date: 2011-04-18 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Is it wrong to think it looks fun and beautiful?

Very little is wrong, and that certainly isn't.

Fringe

Date: 2011-04-18 10:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cdennismoore.livejournal.com
Agreed. I thought that was the best episode yet. And I love you, with this show, even amidst all the insanity, and the humor, it's still able to find those touching moments. I can't love this show enough.

Date: 2011-04-18 12:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lindorm.livejournal.com
I find your insides (if you were cracked open) to be beautiful. I guess I knew they would be, a haunting beauty, a beauty in the elegant decay - but still beautiful. Thanks for the link. Let me share one as well, it's pictures from one of Europe's biggest greenhouses (when it was built in 1910), now in stately decay with trees that have grown from the greenhouse floor all the way past the glass roof.

http://valsen.tumblr.com/post/4712203751/greenhouse

I wish I could find the link to an abandoned playground here in Sweden as well, it creeps me out, but other than that I'm very fond of the abandoned wooden houses in Russia. They look like a fairytale have just up and left.

http://englishrussia.com/index.php/2008/03/10/abandoned-wooden-miracles/
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