greygirlbeast: (Ellen Ripley 2)
[personal profile] greygirlbeast
(No one's going to read all this...)

Last night, I dreamt of playing the accordion.

---

Really, beyond seeing Lee Moyer's almost finished cover for Two Worlds and In Between, it was a pretty shitty day. That was the only bright spot. Wait, there was one other. Anyway, for some reason, I recorded the whole crappy day in photos, nineteen of them, below and behind the cut.

I've not spoken for thirty-three hours now, and I'm going for forty-eight, and then, then we'll see.

Much (but by no means all) of what went so wrong about yesterday was thinking I might be ready to finish the final chapter of The Drowning Girl, then discovering another scene that needed to be fitted it. I wrote the new scene, then struggled to insert it without disrupting the chapter's established flow. This is one of those things I can't understand about writers who write shit out of order. I write, I establish flow, and it's pretty much unidirectional. Try to go back and stick in new stuff, it all goes to shit (plus, you're swimming upstream the whole time). But, I wrote the new scene, like I said, then proceeded to the last scene (I only wrote 691 words yesterday). Then decided I needed to hear all of the final chapter, and an earlier part of the book, before wrapping it up. So, I asked Spooky to read it to me.

But I dozed off while she was reading to me, so we have to finish today. After I write the journal entry. Then I have to write another extra scene, once I figure out if it belongs in the ninth or tenth chapter. Maybe Monday and Tuesday I can write the last two scenes. Of course, I also have the deadline for Two Worlds and In Between a mere nine days from now, and there's still so much work left to do on that it boggles the noggin. And there's the work for SuicideGirls that I took on last week.

A nice piece of mail (the real sort, on paper with stamps) from Leeanne O'Sullivan in Lancashire, England. Thank you, Leeanne. You were that other bright spot.

---

After dinner, I had a hot bath. And a meltdown. A silent meltdown.

Later, when I'd been scooped into a Caitlín-shaped bowl, we watched Abel Ferrara's New Rose Hotel, a pretty faithful 1998 film adaptation of William Gibson's short story of the same name. If nothing else, the movie nails the mood of Gibson's story. Christopher Walken is wonderful. Willem Dafoe is a little on autopilot. And Asia Argento is...um....hot. But you already knew that. Yoshitaka Amano (yes, that Yoshitaka Amano) plays the mark, a geneticist named Hiroshi, and there are cool cameos, such as Ryuichi Sakamoto. Definitely recommended, and you can stream it from Netflix.

Laterer, played Rift. Selwyn didn't make Level 19, because I tried to rp instead. And it wasn't bad, but after two attempts at rp in Rift I see that one has to know the canon, and that all the players have to be on the same page in interpreting the canon. Most rpers won't even realize this, of course, but then most rpers suck. Which is why you must rp in tiny groups (4-5 at most).

Latererer, Spooky read me chapters Four and Five of Catching Fire, and I'm relieved to say it gets much better. I think the first three chapters might have been condensed into a paragraph. But I also think, when we're done, I'll be of the opinion it should all have been written as a single book, not a trilogy. We are chained to trilogies. Fuck you, Trilogy Tyrant. Fuck you, Despot of Series. Fuck you.

---

My thanks to people who commented on the problem of gay protagonists in YA novels. I'm not going to get into all the details, because they are many and some of this is private stuff between me and others. And because there's the ugly issue of money. But, I will say, my first YA protagonist will be a lesbian. The worst that can happen is that I can fail, and I've sort of done that already (if we're talking about financial success and mass appeal, and I am).

Comments on #63? Bueller? Bueller?

Now...the photos:





First thing I saw yesterday morning (and this morning). Or I would have forgotten.



Breakfast, slightly out of focus.



Communication sans vocalization!



Mostly, I'm "speaking" with a pen and notebook.



Yesterday's second bright spot.



Spooky reading The Drowning Girl to me, sometime before I dozed off.



There really is an Outside.



My iMac's current wallpaper. Carcharodontosaurus and others in a misty forest that will someday be Northern Africa.



Getting ready for dinner.



Bathroom reading matter.



Filling the tub.



These help a great deal with the cough.



Christopher Walken!



Sméagol in my office chair.



Playing Rift on Spooky's laptop.



Tooth paste. The last word in futility.



The only one of these that Spooky took. I think I was trying to hug Hubero to death.



Reading before sleep.



And I fell asleep to Revenge of the Creature (1955) playing on my ancient iBook (circa 2000). Revenge of the Creature is one of my many comfort movies, and I usually sleep to comfort movies.

All photographs Copyright © 2011 by Caitlín R. Kiernan and Kathryn A. Pollnac

Date: 2011-03-06 06:00 pm (UTC)
sovay: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sovay
The only one of these that Spooky took. I think I was trying to hug Hubero to death.

It's great of both of you.

Date: 2011-03-06 06:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

It's great of both of you.

No so much me, but it's hard to take a bad photo of Hubero.

Date: 2011-03-06 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seph-ski.livejournal.com
We are chained to trilogies. Fuck you, Trilogy Tyrant. Fuck you, Despot of Series. Fuck you.

Amen! Excepting epic tales like The Lord of The Rings, trilogies seem little more than a story fluffed up into multiple books to keep the money coming in.

I'm glad to hear you're starting to enjoy the second Hunger Games book though.

Date: 2011-03-06 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Amen! Excepting epic tales like The Lord of The Rings, trilogies seem little more than a story fluffed up into multiple books to keep the money coming in.

I adore Tolkien. But I fear we have The Lord of the Rings to blame, at least in part, for this.

Although...few realize Tolkien wrote LotR as a single volume; it was his publisher who split it up.

Date: 2011-03-06 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seph-ski.livejournal.com
Although...few realize Tolkien wrote LotR as a single volume; it was his publisher who split it up.

I did not know that. I always thought that it worked best as a trilogy given the scope of the story as well as the physical space it takes to tell it, but knowing it was intended to be a single volume makes me wish it had been. It would be a lovely story to read out of a single twenty-plus pound, leather bound book.

Date: 2011-03-06 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

There's is a very nice single-volume, leather-bound edition, I think.

Date: 2011-03-06 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seph-ski.livejournal.com
I'm sure I just heard both my bookshelves and my budget groan.

Date: 2011-03-06 07:22 pm (UTC)
ext_4772: (Berthold Run)
From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
It was his original publisher's decision: it couldn't (or claimed it couldn't) justify the cost of doing a single volume. And if I remember correctly, the publisher, not Tolkien, assigned the names to the individual volumes. (Tolkien wanted the third one to be called The War of the Ring; he thought The Return of the King gave away too much. And apparently someone made up The Two Towers, but that title doesn't say which two of all those towers in Middle Earth it's referring to, so it doesn't really mean anything. I think Tolkien was, at least, slightly amused by that.)

Am I talking out my ass here, anyone?

Date: 2011-03-06 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com


Am I talking out my ass here, anyone?


Nope. That's pretty much true.

Date: 2011-03-06 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whiskeychick.livejournal.com
Every time I want to comment and be the cheerleader type, I stop myself.

But the sentiment is there. I'd shake pom-poms if it would make you feel any better. If I said I understood the pressure you were under it may miss the mark a bit. Do know that I have a tribe, perhaps equating to your readers, the depend on me and I feel the pressure I suspect you feel.

Fuck mass appeal. Remember Wizard's First Rule. Your readers aren't a part of that rule.

I haven't yet gotten down my stack of "to read" to CATCHING FIRE. Would you say the first three chapters are written for those who hadn't yet read the first book?

I have been resisting the pull of rift. I have so much time (and money) sunk into WoW, I hate to leave. But, your photo makes me want to at least maybe investigate a free trial, if such exists.

I think another care package may be in order...

Date: 2011-03-06 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com
Remember Wizard's First Rule.

Wizard's First Rule?

Fuck mass appeal.

I've reached a point, financially and emotionally, where I can no longer afford, literally, to have that attitude.

Would you say the first three chapters are written for those who hadn't yet read the first book?

In part. Also, they're just dull.

I think another care package may be in order...

Thank you.
Edited Date: 2011-03-06 06:50 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-03-06 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whiskeychick.livejournal.com
Wizard's First Rule:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wizard's_First_Rule
(people are stupid...and so is that link...I don't know why it won't work right)

"can't afford..."
I'm sorry. Our society is so bassackwards where arts aren't given their due and certainly not its artists. I wish I had a wand to wave to make it right.
Edited Date: 2011-03-06 07:09 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-03-06 07:24 pm (UTC)
ext_4772: (Admiral Ackbar)
From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
Let's try it as an embedded link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wizard's_First_Rule). Looks like the apostrophe made it not work.

Date: 2011-03-06 07:51 pm (UTC)
ext_4772: (Default)
From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
Yes! One thing I could fix! \o/

The full Wizard's Rule explanation as quoted from the book, for anyone who doesn't want to click through:
"Wizard's First Rule: people are stupid." Richard and Kahlan frowned even more. "People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People's heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

"Because of Wizard's First Rule, the old wizards created Confessors, and Seekers, as a means of helping find the truth, when the truth is important enough. Darken Rahl knows the Wizard's Rules. He is using the first one. People need an enemy to feel a sense of purpose. It's easy to lead people when they have a sense of purpose. Sense of purpose is more important by far than the truth. In fact, truth has no bearing in this. Darken Rahl is providing them with an enemy, other than himself, a sense of purpose. People are stupid; they want to believe, so they do."

— Chapter 36, p.560, U.S. paperback edition

Date: 2011-03-06 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xjenavivex.livejournal.com
I hope today works so much better.

Date: 2011-03-06 07:13 pm (UTC)
ext_4772: (Baron2)
From: [identity profile] chris-walsh.livejournal.com
"This means you!" You're stern with yourself.

Date: 2011-03-06 07:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

You're stern with yourself.

Not half stern enough.

Date: 2011-03-06 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jenjen4280.livejournal.com
To me, the book is a bit like a maze: circles within circles - you move ahead, lose the path, find a new path, retrace your steps, or maybe more like a dance. It's almost like the read is uncovering the story with Imp, not discovering because I don't think it's been lost, but uncovering something that's been hidden.

I remember Rescue Annie from gym class in 9th grade and Imp exactly nailed how I felt about it too. Thanks for that bit of trivia about her. I'm completely icked out now. Such a strange story. How in the hell did you even hear about that?

I love that when I read your stories, they spur me on to research the smattering of facts and locations you've added to the story.

Date: 2011-03-06 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com
To me, the book is a bit like a maze: circles within circles - you move ahead, lose the path, find a new path, retrace your steps, or maybe more like a dance. It's almost like the read is uncovering the story with Imp, not discovering because I don't think it's been lost, but uncovering something that's been hidden.

I do understand what you're saying here. But I write in a straight line, even if Imp thoughts are— no, appear to be —convoluted.

How in the hell did you even hear about that?

Started with [livejournal.com profile] sovay, then I did research.
Edited Date: 2011-03-06 08:01 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-03-06 08:03 pm (UTC)
ext_511782: (Default)
From: [identity profile] mystical-indi.livejournal.com
(I read it all)

It's great when you take photos throughout the day. These may be some of my favorite posts from you.

About the whole not being successful thing, you are wrong. I think that success is granted by the dedication of your readers/audience. You have a following of very dedicated readers. Not very many authors can say that to the extent that you can. Unfortunately, I realize that this does not make you money, but at least your work is not futile. It's still getting across to someone.

Date: 2011-03-06 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

These may be some of my favorite posts from you.

I'm glad you don't find them dull.

About the whole not being successful thing, you are wrong. I think that success is granted by the dedication of your readers/audience. You have a following of very dedicated readers. Not very many authors can say that to the extent that you can. Unfortunately, I realize that this does not make you money, but at least your work is not futile. It's still getting across to someone.

I understand all this. I do. And I don't mean to belittle it. But, at 46, sick and not exactly well off financially, it doesn't feel much like success to me. It feels like failure, and I am forced to try another route.

Date: 2011-03-06 11:16 pm (UTC)
ext_511782: (Default)
From: [identity profile] mystical-indi.livejournal.com
It feels like failure, and I am forced to try another route.

I understand that. I wish it would have worked out better for you, and I'm sure all your current fans will not stop reading your work when you switch to YA fiction. Your writing, even though it is not what you enjoy doing, is marvelous. I really hope that this works out better for you.

...sick and not exactly well off financially

I know that feeling. It really is not fun. My best wishes are with you.

Date: 2011-03-06 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com


I understand that. I wish it would have worked out better for you, and I'm sure all your current fans will not stop reading your work when you switch to YA fiction.


I believe they will. I hope they will.

Date: 2011-03-06 11:29 pm (UTC)
ext_511782: (Default)
From: [identity profile] mystical-indi.livejournal.com
I hope they will.

Yeah, me too.

Date: 2011-03-06 10:02 pm (UTC)
blackestdarkness: (Default)
From: [personal profile] blackestdarkness
I enjoy these posts of photos throughout the day as well. A hot bath is one of my favorite things. Also, dinner looks yummy.

Date: 2011-03-06 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

I enjoy these posts of photos throughout the day as well.

I'm always afraid they'll bore people.

Date: 2011-03-07 04:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alumiere.livejournal.com
I'm always afraid they'll bore people. Doubtful; and if I were to take pictures of my day they'd be just as boring, and the details much less well written.

Aren't kitties wonderful? We just acquired two (adopted from a friend of a friend) and I cannot believe how much they make me smile even when I want to curl up in a ball and die. Purring seems to make me relax in a different way, and when they decide that the butter on my toast is for them I'm still in love with their adorable fluffiness.

Date: 2011-03-06 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poesillchild.livejournal.com
So many comments; they make me feel late to party. I hope you get to feel better soon.

There is no reason for your first (and subsequent) YA novel to not have a lesbian protagonist. I do agree with your comments yesteday about the requirement for romance in YA novels.

Thanks for the photo spread.

All the pieces will fall into place.

Date: 2011-03-06 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

There is no reason for your first (and subsequent) YA novel to not have a lesbian protagonist.

No, there are reasons. They're unjust reasons, but they're there.

Date: 2011-03-06 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robyn-ma.livejournal.com
Someone says 'queer-friendly YA fiction,' I think Francesca Lia Block.

Dunno how you feel about her, though.

Date: 2011-03-06 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Someone says 'queer-friendly YA fiction,' I think Francesca Lia Block.

Agreed. But, every time I name a success, my agent says, "Yeah, but...she (or he) is an exception."

Dunno how you feel about her, though.

Love her.

Date: 2011-03-07 01:20 am (UTC)
ext_50187: (J)
From: [identity profile] jomacmouse.livejournal.com
I've spent the weekend not knowing how to put this, but here goes:

I'm currently making and decorating a handmade book purely for my own amusement, and it's mainly things people have said online that I've really liked, including a post & screencapture image, & exchange of comments by yourself and some of your more regular commenters. I thought it might be courteous to mention it, not only to yourself but also to those who were also quoted, seeing as I've put up a photograph of the pages concerned on my LJ account in my latest post. I hope you and everyone else involved won't mind.

[Edit: My apologies, the post is here (http://jomacmouse.livejournal.com/130071.html)
Edited Date: 2011-03-07 01:22 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-03-07 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] homewardangel.livejournal.com
i drink the same tea as you. what do you do with the little animals?

Date: 2011-03-07 03:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

i drink the same tea as you. what do you do with the little animals?

Well, these days I drink the decaf, which comes without them. But, before that, Red Rose had switched to these weird little holiday figurines (the Red Rose tea figurines figure in The Red Tree, as it happens). Back when they were still putting the little animals in, I'd hide them in odd spots about my neighborhood to see how long they'd stay where I put them. Most were never touched.

Date: 2011-03-07 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unknownbinaries.livejournal.com
You may have seen this already, but I found this Etsy shop (http://www.etsy.com/shop/weirdbuglady) and thought you'd like it, especially the plush trilobites.

Date: 2011-03-07 06:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Were I not presently so impoverished, I'd be doomed.

Date: 2011-03-07 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nightwitch.livejournal.com
I know this won't make a jot of difference in terms of financial success and mass appeal, coming from one reader, but you've been one of my favorite authors for many years and I'll continue to read what you write no matter what genre you choose to write in.

Date: 2011-03-07 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaz-mahoney.livejournal.com
I've been offline for a couple of days (in Migraine Hell, which is a real place as far as I'm concerned), but I wanted to say how much I love seeing photos like this.

I also wanted to say that I'm glad that your first YA protagonist will be a lesbian. I didn't mean to indicate (by my previous comment) that it was a hopeless endeavour, and really hoped to convey (obviously... badly) that there is movement happening Out There. So in fact, assuming that positive movement continues - which I expect it will - by the time you're ready to sell the YA novel/proposal, I don't doubt you'll do so. I believe the readership is out there... just that the money from publishers might be more of a problem. Like, huge advances go to the Sure Things (i.e. more of the same), which is no doubt nothing new to you.

That doesn't mean it won't happen, though, because those YA deals for books with non-het relationships and characters are happening more often - especially as YA is so huge at the moment. I also think that trend will continue.

Anyway. That is all. Oh! Apart from that I'd be interested to hear more of what you think of Catching Fire, now you'll have read further.

Date: 2011-03-07 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greygirlbeast.livejournal.com

Like, huge advances go to the Sure Things (i.e. more of the same), which is no doubt nothing new to you.

Sadly, yes.

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Caitlín R. Kiernan

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